28 and married straight- but im gay..

You can love someone and still be in an unhappy marriage. If you are that uncomfortable, it's time to consider a separation at the very least. You could talk to him, but if he isn't accepting that may make things more uncomfortable.

 

Re: married straight but am gay

So it sounds like you have two things to come about. You're bisexual, and you want to have sex with someone that is not your husband.

I and a lot of other people here have come out in relationships. It is one of the hardest things anyone can do. You need to ask yourself what's fair and right for both you and your husband. If you honestly need things that he can't give you, and you can't be the kind of wife he needs, it is possible that this may end your relationship. That is the bad news. Being in the closet, though, and resenting your husband, can also end your relationship. So in some ways, it is a rock and a hard place.

He is going to be hurt, and from his point of view he has done nothing wrong - and is losing a lot. You have to be prepared for that. He is going to say and do a lot of mean things at first, and you have to be ready to react with love. You won't be able to all the time, you are a human being, and you may need to forgive yourself for some of the things you say back. When you do, just try harder to be loving and patient the next day all over again. But you and he both can get through this, and often be happier because of it, if you decide to come out when you are ready. When he sees that you truly just want both of you to be happy, it will help both of you come to a place where you can figure out how to go on from here.

I do want to mention, there are a lot of bisexual people that can be happy in a relationship with just one person. They're still bisexual, still as much a part of our LGBT family as I am. It's up to you if that is you. I am just saying, you are bisexual whether or not you ever make love to another woman. You may feel a lot of pressure to be with a woman right now, but if you could go about your day to day life without secrets, being able to openly talk about your crushes, it may change things.

That out of the way though, as hard as it is, a lot of us have come out and you can too. If you do decide to, sometimes it helps to talk to people our age in the Later in Life section. This is a lot easier to do when you don't have to do it alone