Where to find a boyfriend?

Probably not much help here--except maybe to say don't limit where you are willing to let it happen. I met my partner in a bar--we've been together for 16 years.

 

I met my ex at college, and my current girlfriend on a dating site. She's a New Zealander. I wasn't looking for anyone when I met my ex. I suggest being open and relaxing because sometimes love finds you when you're not looking. And I've been friends first with everyone I've ever dated.

 

It was actually sort of a one-night stand gone wrong. He was beautiful and there was this amazing physical chemistry and then we ended up talking all night--after the fact. I finally fell asleep around dawn and when he had to get up in the morning he left me there alone in his apartment--trusting fool--with a really sweet little note about how much fun he had had and his phone number. We talked the next night and he mentioned that he was going to an Easter party the next day and that he would invite me but it would be sort of awkward since we just met. I remember telling him that it was alright--I'd go next year. After a long pause he said "you know, I think you actually might." I was at that party with him the following Easter and the rest, as they say, is history.

I guess if I could give any advise it would be to just be really genuinely open to meeting people. It may take a while to find your prince, but kissing all the frogs was kinda fun too.:lol:

 

I just got out of a relationship with someone that lasted 3 years. We met on [Removed] and just ended up really hitting it off. That's where I look for future relationships as well. It allows you to know something about someone before you meet them and once you go on a few dates, you'll realize that it's really actually pretty easy to meet new people, you just have to be friendly. I'm proof that it is worthwhile.

If you like to go out dancing, go to where the gay people are. I swear you won't want to go back to straight clubs haha. You can meet some cool people if you just go out to where people are and stay open to meeting new people.

 

I think you get them from vending machines. ^.^

 

I met mine at a bus stop I was waiting with a friend for her bus to come, I noticed him looking at me and also that his nails were painted blue. (I later learned this was one of many awful bets made with his best friend) My shirt was the exact same shade of blue so I just walked up and said "I think we're matching."

We hit off he asked for my number we kept texting each other and then what do you know I'm at his house cooking for his parents!

 

Yes, it worked out well. But it's probably not the best one to emulate:

1) Please don't leave men you just met alone in your home:lol:
2) You probably shouldn't even hint to someone after one "date" that you think this may be a long term thing--although who knows maybe that actually helped, now that I think about it that was literally the only time I've ever done that.

I think what you can emulate is: be out there, be open to the possibilities, be completely honest with the people you encounter along the way and don't spend your time looking for the one--I would say at least don't look like you are looking but that sort of goes against the whole be completely honest with the people you encounter thing.:lol:

In all seriousness when I met my partner I had finally arrived at a place in my life where I was comfortable being single and was genuinely not looking. In fact if ever there was an evening where I was not looking it was that one. I was there with a friend (an ex actually--already ex at the time). We had stopped in at our usual watering hole for a drink before we went out dancing. We had planned it like a week before--and we never made it to the dance club, because there was this angel I just had to meet. I remember calling my friend the next day to apologize for ruining our plans. I'll always remember his response: "dude, don't worry about it--no apologies necessary, I mean I was there, I saw him too.":roflmao:

 

Doesn't Amazon carry boyfriends? They seem to carry everything else. :lol:

 

More seriously...

And the disclaimer: I've never had boyfriend. Indeed, it appears quite likely my tombstone will say something like "Never even had a date." :lol:

But, based on what I've heard, I'd bet that you can find people who had luck with any method of meeting men you can name: Bars. Social groups. Cell Phone Apps That Can't Be Named or Else EC Will Implode into a Black Hole. Dating services. Dating web sites that also can't be named, or else EC will turn into a black hole. The nice woman down the street introduces you to her brother-in-law's sister-in-law's niece's step brother, who turns out to be Mr. Right. Belonging to a gay friendly church. Etc. Etc. Etc. And you can probably find lots of crazy stories of strange meetings.

Again, not speaking from any practical experience here... But to my mind, while stories of "How I met Mergutroyd" can be interesting, and potentially instructive, one thing worth giving serious consideration to is one one's own circumstances. What is viable for one person may not be so viable for others.

For example, take Mirko's idea above about LGBT groups. Overall, I like that idea, and it's one that I'd suggest as a possibility. Please note the word possibility. Because--while there are undeniable advantages (like being able to see prospective dates in the real world before dating)--those groups won't work for everyone. You have to live in an area where there are such groups, or else be able to regularly travel to the nearest place that has such groups.

---------- Post added 27th Jun 2014 at 05:54 AM ----------

Good ideas.

This is not the first time I have heard of someone who found Mr. Right when he was not looking. I remember reading on another forum about a guy who was not only "not looking," but not in the least bit interested in a relationship. I think he'd emerged from a bad relationship, or something. And yet, one night, he had that chance meeting that changed everything...

 

Well, I'm not in a gay relationship but meeting someone at all seems quite hard so, I'll give it a go anyways.

I met my girlfriend five years ago in "Gymnasiet", I think High School is equivalent, and after chasing her for over eight months she agreed to try it out. Worked well, I'd say.

The best way of meeting potential partners is to be out there. Go out, meet new people, study where you don't know many, HBTQ-groups, gaybars (might backfire since you'd probably be drunk, might be extremly fun). Be open and for gods sake, don't look. Let it happen. People who look desperatly after a relationship seems to reek of desperation, since all my desperate friends never find anyone but all my happy-go-lucky friends find someone.

Hakuna Matata, my friend. Seriously. Hakuna. Matata.

PS. It helps being out and proud, but it's not necessary.

 

[/COLOR]

Hopefully I don't reek of desperation. I think my problem is that people get the vibe that I'm not interested in a relationship. I have this strange "serious, determined, on a mission in life" ambiance that people pick up. I mean, I kind of am on a life mission (I have my while career life planned and it's going AMAZING so far), but I don't think I'm completely "serious". Even my friends have told me that I need to loosen up.

Speaking of loosening up, I'm trying to slowly become more out and proud. It's tough, but we'll see... I think I, making progress.[/QUOTE]

I don't think you do either. My friends are totally wierd, I love it.
Well, that's something amazing you got going on there. I'm two years your senior and I'm completly lost!

The core issue is definitely that you have trouble relaxing and making yourself available, if I've got it right. That isn't anything that's not changable. Just remember to relax.
I understand that it's hard, since you are probably uncertain how people react to your sexuality, but when that stress disappears, the rest should somewhat follow.

I think you need to set up boundries for yourself, since you are so driven. Define work hours and relaxation hours, and work on separeting them. My dad runs his own company, and he would feel a lot better if he could separate the two. Force yourself (not too much, migt be counterproductive) to chill out, hang out with friends and tell them to tell you if you go into serious-mode. Might work if you find a good balance!


I can't stress Hakuna Matata enough, seriously. An awesome mantra to keep you relaxed when you should. As long as you strive for something, it'll turn out alright.

 

lol they could include this as one of the benefits of Amazon Prime... sign up for a Prime membership and get a complimentary boyfriend with free two-day shipping :lol:

confuseduser I don't have much advice but whenever you locate the right spot to find a boyfriend just make sure to fill me in on it, I could use one too :lol:

 

I am on this quest myself.... I have had no luck yet. On 1 dating site, I get lots of visits but no messages and most people don't seem interested in messaging back.

 

Ahaha, that's an interesting one. :lol: