Is It Alright To Have Anger Towards My Mother For Not Being Able To Come Out To Her?

Re: Is It Alright To Have Anger Towards My Mother For Not Being Able To Come Out To H

While she may have grown up in a different time, she has a son who's growing up in the current world, and her not being accepting of homosexuality will be an issue between the two of you.
Are your parents together or separated? Is your dad willing to talk to your mother at all about the subject?
Parents can have amazing changes of heart, especially when one is accepting and they see the effect that it has on their relationship with their child.

You'll be going off to college soon, right? Will you be moving out?

 

Re: Is It Alright To Have Anger Towards My Mother For Not Being Able To Come Out To H

I think you can have some anger with your mother for not being accepting of homosexuality. Peoples positions can also change, for one reason or another, when someone close to them comes out/drops a bombshell of some sort. It's a tough situation. I am lucky my immediate family is fine with being gay. My extended family though - not so much. They are also the not okay with anything but white, Christan, and straight.

I don't think the excuse of 'growing up in a different time' is an acceptable one. Things are different now, and people should change. I can understand it though, old habits can be hard to break. I'll use my grandfather for example. He was in the First Marine Division, and was part of the invasion of Guadalcanal and other terrible battles in WW2. He hated Asian people. While I found his hate for them disgusting, I understood where it came from.

 

Re: Is It Alright To Have Anger Towards My Mother For Not Being Able To Come Out To H

Most people's parents grew up in an era when homosexuality wasn't accepted. That doesn't give them a right or an excuse to condemn it though.
If they're too stubborn to choose the love of their child over some old belief, then I pitty them and feel very sorry for the child.

You have every right to be angry about whatever puts fear and pain in your heart.

As to whether she deserves it, only you (and your father) know.

If she's the kind of person who would never accept homosexuality - even if she knew her own son was a homosexual - then she probably does deserve it.

Tolerance is a two way street.

After all of the success you've had, it's a real shame that one person is standing in the way of your happiness.

 

Re: Is It Alright To Have Anger Towards My Mother For Not Being Able To Come Out To H

Anger is a worldly emotion and it's alright to feel anger towards another person, it's natural; therefore, you have every right to be angry for not coming out her without some sort of recoil occurring. People's positions change especially when it becomes more personal for them. I don't think "being born in a different time" is a sufficient statement to explain why she doesn't support homosexuality. That being said. is it alright to feel angry? Yes. Is it healthy to feel angry in this situation? Well...no, not really. The way I see it is this: You are perceptive of your mom's beliefs and you're looking out for yourself, you are perceptive about the recoil effect and whatnot.