Ok, so as the title says I really need some quick advice. I'm gunna say a lot about me which I haven't yet done on here before and it's extremely personal but I need some advice.. And I'll try and keep it brief (thanks for reading). I suffered from depression in the past and I self harmed for about 2 years straight and sometimes I almost attempted suicide. I got 10 months clean and I was starting to become me again. The happiest I've ever been was the few months up to March/April this year. But mid April I relapsed and since then my moods have been up and down. But these past few weeks I've been going downhill drastically and I'm pretty close to suicide right now. But I, pretty sure I'm not going to. I'm trying really hard. Anyway there's the personal bit out the way. Again I'm trying to keep this brief so if you need to know more then just reply and I will If you've read my previous posts you'll know that I've been in love with my straight best friend for the past 3 years. She's been the trigger to all the depression and self harm. She doesn't have a clue about how I feel and although I thought about telling her, I never thought I would go through with it. We had our prom last night and I told myself that would be it and I would leave. But I came home from prom and cried so much. (Just to say she was so beautiful at prom and I fell in love with her twice as much I swear). And i cried for about 3/4 hours and didn't sleep much. So then I thought I had to at least say goodbye to her so I did, I sent her a message in Facebook cus I knew I'd cry too much in person. But she's begging me not too. I think she's also clocked that I'm suicidal right now and she doesn't know if I'm saying goodbye like that or just as a friend or what.. And basically this is where I need the advice.. She's asked if I want to meet up with her tomorrow. 2 other people are going (including the boy she likes who also likes her back). But she wants to talk to me, probably to know where my heads at and talk to me and listen to me. She says she'll go off with me for a bit to talk. She also knows there's something I'm not telling her (the fact I'm in love with her) that is triggering everything. And here's the thing.. I don't know whether to a) go, because my mood swings will ruin it for the other people, the girl I love knows how to handle me when I'm down and b) go and tell her how I feel. I don't know whether to or keep it to myself and leave her, like I suggested before. I've told a friend, a close friend to both of us and she says I gotta leave and keep it to myself. (Just to say I've pushed this friend away for good, so I can't talk to her anymore). But why can't i? Why do i want to tell her? I'm scared of Her leaving (which she promises she will never do even if I murdered someone) and also that she tells other people (which she also promises she will never do). Thank you for reading and I kept it as brief as I could, if you want more information just ask.vthanks for the advice, if I get any haha. ~Somegirl~
This girl is the cause of your depression and suicidal urges. She obviously doesn't intend to be, but you have to realise that it's unhealthy for you to continue a friendship with her, at least for now. She's straight, and she'll never be with you in that way. Separation is likely the only cure. I'm not advocating you run off without ever speaking to her again. If she's a true friend, then you can trust her with this. I very much doubt she'll tell anyone, or hate you for it. On the other hand, consider what you know about her. How will she react to knowing that she's the cause of your pain, even unknowingly?
Re: Quick advice.. Help?! I think you just need to to get to the point where you could be alright with still just being friends. If you aren't pushy, I doubt she would completely abandon you. (I'm talking from being in a similar situation which will hopefully resolve itself very soon!) Sometimes, when you get to a dead end, you need to step off into the unknown and hope things turn out well. Think of it this way - you only have control over weather you fail (which you will, if you don't act on the opportunity.)
Dude shes your friend. Just tell her u have a thing for her. Dont spill your heart out. See how she takes it. Best case scenario she might like.it. medium case youl stay friends. Worst case. Shell freak out and go far away as possible from you. All 3 are healthy for you. And dont harm yourself over a girl. Shit whos gonna cut themselvws over you
Yeah, I guess. She's been a true friend to me for the past 4 years. She's never told anyone about my sexuality or gender confusion and she does really care about me because she made me get physciatric help and is offering to come to all the sessions and she'll sign forms so my parents don't have to find out etc. I don't think she's tell people. Maybe if I just say I have a thing for her as opposed to I'm in love with her? Or should I just not go tomorrow? I don't know Ergh. Thanks for replying though ---------- Post added 27th Jun 2014 at 01:58 PM ---------- Thanks for replying. I'm a couple of weeks clean again it's just the urges are quite bad. I'm trying to stay positive though
Re: Quick advice.. Help?! In all honesty, I don't want to leave her. It hurts more not talking to her. But, it's when she doesn't talk to me cus she's with the guy she likes, that's when it hurts like hell and I get the suicidal thoughts and stuff. I'm trying really hard and that,ci just get jealous. As anyone would. I just don't know whether to tell her or not :/ or go tomorrow or not :/
You are in a really bad place now and you are only just holding it together. What do you suppose will happen (to your feelings) if you tell her everything and she just confirms what you already know - that she is straight and you can be nothing more to her than a friend? If telling all will put you in an even worse place emotionally, I wouldn't do it.
That's actually the best advice I have heard, thankyou for taking the time to read and reply. She's just my best friend and she helps me through everything. It only hurts when she doesn't talk to me because she's with the guy she likes. When I'm with her and when she's talking to me, it only feels like we are friends and it's great. She makes me happy. But she can make me sad and jealous. I don't want to leave her, but I don't think I should tell her. I think it'll put me in a worse situation if I leave her but also if I tell her, so I don't know what to do really :/
Could you maybe tell her partly how you feel, without spilling everything? Maybe focus back to the prom and say how it made you realise a chapter is coming to an end, and how it's made you think quite a lot about the special connection you have with her (as a friend). Would something like that work? At least you'd get some of your feelings out there and it might ease the pressure.
Ok yeah that's great! Thankyou for taking the time to reply, all of you. I just really don't wanna lose her as a friend because that would hurt more if I'm honest. It is hurting more now. But I'm not meeting with her today, I don't want the other people to think I'm attention seeking if I just go off with her. Even though she asked me to come into town so that me and her could talk. But hey ho. Thanks for replying. I will do this when I next see her, probably some time next week.
