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I have a boyfriend....but I want a girlfriend.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by PharmGirl, Jun 28, 2014.

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  1. PharmGirl

    PharmGirl
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    Yes, yes, I know the whole "just break up with him if you don't want to date him!" but it's not a no-strings-attached relationship.

    I have a daughter (he's not her biological father), and I kept him out of the picture for almost a year until I was sure he wasn't just some fling. Now she's really taken to him and he's really taken to her. It's been this way for quite some time now, our own make-shift family.

    I'm not out to him, obviously, but I'm not really "in" either. He makes remarks all the time about how he doesn't see it as cheating if I sleep with a girl, however I do, because it's not just about sex with me.

    I have a massive crush on this girl who I know I probably have no chance with, not because of sexual orientation, but because of political views. She's very liberal and I'm very apathetic to politics in general. I feel as if she would want someone who is as passionate about politics as she is.


    I'm at a loss for what to do. I do care about my boyfriend, however I feel as if he's my roommate, not my partner. Maybe if I get over this crush, things will be different.

    I'm terrified, to be honest. I could stay with him and keep my daughter happy, and possibly be happy in the future, or I could take a chance on this girl and risk screwing everything up.

    Ugh, I'm not ready for this yet.
     
    #1 PharmGirl, Jun 28, 2014
  2. pinklov3ly

    pinklov3ly
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    I know exactly how you feel. I've been with my boyfriend on and off since I was 19 years old and we're currently expecting another baby. Things are good between us and I couldn't be any happier, but I'd also love to have a girlfriend. He's always known that I've liked women as well, so he is okay with the whole idea, but I'm in no position to date anyone at the moment.

    I've actually thought about breaking up with my boyfriend after I have the baby, but I'm not sure if I'm willing to let go of what I have for something that could turn out to be a temporary thing. It just doesn't seem worth it, you know...

    I think you should really think about your decision because you do not want to have any regrets. Life is too short, and you deserve to be happy, so perhaps you should take a chance with this girl you've mentioned.

    I know that it isn't an easy decision to make, especially given all the time you've invested into your current relationship. And before you make any drastic changes, talk to this girl and see where she stands. Find out if she is looking for something serious or casual and go from there.
     
    #2 pinklov3ly, Jun 28, 2014
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2014
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