basically i've got this friend of mine whom i've been getting really close to since last year, and i was pretty honored bc he was the quiet type who didn't really open up to people that easily (but he's cute). since the end of last year, our friendship's turned really weird, abusive, and twisted, and he just got a girlfriend while back, and i'm seriously dying because i'm in love with him and i simply can't deal with the shit he throws me let's go back to the start at the start of last year, he was trying to make more friends (i was one of them), and he started to tell me supposed "secrets" that he's never told anyone else before, and tell me that i'm "special" and he really likes being my friend, but he's said the same thing to many others, or so they tell me. i didn't feel very good about that, so i questioned and he started really opening up to me about his thoughts and feelings about the world and all that (which i'm pretty sure he's never told anyone before). he realized that we can click really well, and we started hanging out around once every 2 weeks, and i started praising him for everything he did and i really admired him (turns out that he's got hidden talents too). at the end of the year, i became one of his closer friends, but because he's homophobic (strong christian upbringing), and he told me specifically that he thinks they're a burden on society, i couldn't tell him much about me. i had no feelings for him at that time at all, they somehow developed along the way start of this year, when he started getting really close to this girl and i got super jealous. she's our mutual friend, and i have to deal with hanging around him and her at the same time - i thought i was just annoyed that my friends became closer to each other than they were to me, but it turned out that i had hidden feelings for my friend. the two of them started forming their own exclusive bubble, and i was slowly kicked out of the friendship. i'm a pretty emotional person, and during this period of time i pretty much cried everyday in front of him every single day, begging him not to leave me, and telling him that i feel like i'm losing him as a friend. he'd always tell me that he wouldn't leave me, and while he had feelings for this girl, and after a while, he took time off to meet me alone so that i'd be assured. soon, he realized my dependence on him, and he used it to his advantage - i became some sort of toy for him. now he's met another girl, and at the start, he'd talk about how we're similar, and how we'd both do anything for him, and he tried to reassure me that he'd treat us equally and fairly. however, recently, he'd threaten to entirely ditch me because apparently now that he has her, he has no good use for me anymore, but he'd pretend as if he's never said anything if i question him a few days later. during this period of time, he started to send me pictures of himself in underwear for no good reason, and kept asking suggestive things as to whether i am in love with him (??) he'd purposely make me jealous by talking about the things he did with her, and he even got us to all hang around together - he'd get very touchy with her in front of me, or he would just lay static and wait for us to go fight for his attention - then ask me how i felt about it. i'd always end up crying and telling him to not leave me and to never replace me with anyone, but his responses would range from "it's inevitable just prepare yourself" to a "you're a very special friend to me", depending on his mood. and while all this was happening, he continued his anti-homosexuality charade and even asked me to "man-up" or he'd stop being my friend i can't stand every second i'm not with him - he's the only one entitled to initiate conversations and hang-outs, and i get incredibly jealous when he's out with her, to the extent that i can't do anything but just stop and think about him. i want to move on but i can't??????? i really don't want to lose him - despite all that he's doing, but can anyone tell me what he wants from me???? why can't we be more normal about this?? sorry for the bad writing lol i'm pretty incoherent when it comes to narrating and summarizing stuff but thanks guys a lot for your help!!
Um. You probably aren't going to like hearing this, but it sound to me like he's done little or nothing to justify the word 'friend', that he's at least somewhat to a lot manipulative and abusive and that your relationship is creeping over into co-dependency or something equally unhealthy. My advice would be to remove hi from your life and find other people more worthy of your time and attention. Based on what you've said, that may require the assistance of a therapist or counselor to help you work through this situation. Hope this helps, Todd
you aren't going to like this either, but you don't need to walk away from this guy, you need to run. from what you have posted on this he seems very manipulative and controlling. he seems to be baiting you to come out and then maybe use it against you to keep you controlled. make your own decisions but yikes, i would be kicking up dust getting away.
i've been trying to pull myself away for a very very long time - but i haven't be able to do it!!!!! he makes me feel super happy and fulfilled and he's literally in my mind the entire day. i think i'm holding to some sort of false hope that his reciprocity (despite in a v weird, twisted way) may show that he holds some sort of latent desire which might develop after a while (?!?! idk really) sometimes i feel like he's the only one i'd ever love, and if i let him go i'll never find anyone else that makes me as happy as he does. to my eyes, everything he does can be justified in some way or another, and they all qualify as a sort of perfection. i sound borderline obsessive but you do get the point - the more he abuses me, the more i love him!!!!! it's a pretty vicious cycle i'd say but i literally don't have the energy or the ability to simply dra myself out of it i want to find someone to talk to about this - but i've got only my closer friends in school, and they don't have much advice to offer >.>
Stockholm syndrome - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia You need to separate him from yourself. I've seen these relationships last years, and they are extremely detrimental to someone's happiness and self esteem.
Your friend has sociopathic tendencies. He won't ever reciprocate anything you feel. He's just using you and he'll continue to do so as long as you stay in contact with him. He'll only leave you broken emotionally.
Get out. Bail. Escape. The sooner the better. I'm only a person on the internet, but no matter what you feel for that guy, he will hurt you more than you could ever imagine and make you his personal plaything (in a negative way) to toy with if you let him. Do not. Become. A slave.
