1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Girlfriend pierced her septum and I hate it. Help?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by SayAnything, Jul 1, 2014.

  1. SayAnything

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2012
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    My girlfriend got her septum pierced today and I honestly hate it. She asked me before hand if it was okay with me and I told her that it was her body and I didn't want to influence the decisions she makes with it. Which is true, honestly. And I feel really selfish and terrible for even saying any of this, but I wish she would take it out. She's not sure how she feels about it either and she told me she instantly regretted getting it and that she was going to take it out. I told her that I thought she was beautiful no matter what, but I'm relieved that she was going to take it out. Now I guess she's having second thoughts about that too because she still has it in and might want to keep it. I realize that it's not my place to make decisions about her body, and I seriously feel like a jerk for even saying negative things about it. But to be completely honest, looking at it makes me want to cry. I genuinely hate it. I don't want to tell her that because if she wants to keep it, then she should be able to, I just don't know what to do. She keeps asking me what I think of it and I keep being vague because I don't want to hurt her feelings. Should I just quietly hide the fact that I hate it or tell her how I feel or what?
     
  2. TJ

    TJ
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2011
    Messages:
    1,833
    Likes Received:
    299
    Location:
    Lawrence, KS
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    If she is asking you for your opinion on it, the best thing you can do is be gently honest with her. Just because you give your opinion doesn't mean you have to be a jerk or sound negative.
    You can simply say, "If you really want my opinion, I truly don't like it. I'm absolutely open to you doing whatever you want with your body, I don't want to stifle your freedom to choose, but if you're asking for my opinion, I don't think it looks good."

    That's a basic, honest, and kind way of telling her how you really feel.
     
  3. stocking

    stocking Guest

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2013
    Messages:
    7,542
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New England
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    I agree with TJ I would have told her I didn't like it and be honest .
    It's hard but I think your girlfriend really cares and values your opinion .
    If my girlfriend didn't like something I was gonna do to my body I would like her to let me know I don't want to have her not attracted to me anymore .
     
  4. vamonos

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2013
    Messages:
    132
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Tijuana
    Gender:
    Male
    Tell her.
     
  5. Nick07

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2013
    Messages:
    2,637
    Likes Received:
    0
    Don't be dishonest with her to shield her and if she asks you, tell her.
     
  6. SayAnything

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2012
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    I was just kind of worried that if I told her I didn't like it, she would feel like I'm trying to control the decisions she makes with her body. Like I'm still incredibly attracted to her, but the piercing is just all I can see when I look at her and I hate it. If she decides to keep it, I'm sure I'll just get used to it and maybe it won't bother me as much, but I really, really hate septum piercings. I guess I should just be honest about it. I don't want to have to lie by omission. I really appreciate all of you guys helping me out here. Thanks to everybody who responded.
     
  7. QuiteAlright

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2014
    Messages:
    23
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Michigan
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Telling someone that you don't think something looks good on them is not controlling the decisions they make with their body.

    What if it was a dress, or a hat? What if she found the world's ugliest sweater and wanted your thoughts? Would you hesitate over that in the same way?

    If she absolutely loved it and didn't want your opinion, yeah, you'd be a bit of a jerk for telling her it was ugly. But it sounds like she's on the fence and honestly wants to know what you think.
     
  8. lovely lesbian

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2013
    Messages:
    3,818
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    UK
    I think you should tell her