Hello everyone! My best friend is a girl, and we're friends for 4 years now. We instantly became besties when I came out to her. Ever since, everything has been perfect, until a couple of months ago. A new girl was transferred into our class and my bestie (Cami) instantly befriended her and became good friends. Everything was fine for a week or so, we were all talking all sorts of things, but soon after they became talking more to each other and less to me, as in I was never included in their convos. I said to myself "okay, so Cami found a girl friend, so they're talking girly stuff they might not want to share with me". But now, a couple of months later, I and Cami hardly ever talk and Tania (the other girl) always calls me and stuff, just like Cami used to do. I'm hurting over the fact that my friendship with Cami is getting colder. What do you think? Am I overreacting? I really don't know what to think, nor what to do. I really don't want to loose Cami. She's been a better sister to me than my biological sister. Any opinions or tips are greatly appreciated. Lots of love, Andy
Have you asked her? Perhaps she thinks that nothing has changed. Maybe you are more sensitive because you were two all the time and suddenly she has one more person to spend time with. I would say, share your mutual friend It's natural that friendships change over the time, and keeping the other girl around will make it easier for you to stay in contact with your friend. Also, two friends are better than one
Yes, I did ask her and all she said is "I don't see nothing wrong with it." And maybe I am more sensitive, but I am positive about the fact that our friendship is dying. Why? Well, we used to talk 5 hours a day on the phone and whenever she was in town we'd spend all day together. Now, not only we don't spend as much (if any) time together, she doesn't answer, nor reply my calls, she ignores my texts or replies to them hours later. EDIT: And, you know how after knowing someone for a long time, you somehow feel what the other person feels? You just feel when something's off? Yeah. I feel that.
I knew My guy best friend for over seven years we used to talk every day on the phone or on Facebook, we used to sit near each other in the class every day, I and he know every small detail about each other, last year he found new friends and never talk to me, that broke my heart but I moved on. I think from my experience that at your age you will know who is your real best friend , because before this age ( 15-16) people are still children who doesn't know what or who they want.
It's heart breaking, though. It happened to me before, with my best friend for 11 years. We met when we were two and even then, as babies, we couldn't wait until we met up again. Anyway, when I was 12, almost 13, I came to the conclusion that I'm gay, so I decided to come out to him. He seemed fine with it, but he never really wanted to acknowledge it, saying it's a "phase" of puberty. When he realized it's permanent, he slowly walked away. I really don't want this to happen again, even though it's a different reason. L.o.l. Andy
I'm gonna bump this thread, even though I don't see much point in it. Maybe someone will be able to say something that'll make me feel better about it.
I'm soray you're feeling down about your friendship. The only way to really know what is going on on her end is to let her know how you are feeling. Tell her how hurt you are by the distance that is growing between the two of you, and ask her if maybe there is something personal going on, on her end, that is causing her to withdraw from you. It must be tough, I know! But it soundo like you havr a solid friendship, so in the long run I'm sure it will work out. ((Hugs))
Thank you for the support. I'll try asking her, but as it is right now, she's out of town and not answering her cellphone. (*hug*)
Hmpf. It seems like what I was seeking for was just around the corner. There's this guy I know for over a year now, and I never realized how he accepted me for who I was straight away and never wanted to change anything in me, not the tiniest thing. I used to vent out to him whenever I felt the need to, but he never vented out to me. So today, I confronted him about it and it seems like he considers me my brother, and even though he's older than me, he looks up to me and he hopes that one day I'll consider letting him be my friend.
Sorry to say, but shit happens. I have friends that we were close in high-school, college but after we finish every step they found another friend and they suddenly forget you. Shit like this happen, to all. I would say, move on, let her space, she might need some space. She need something new, you need something new. In time, things will be fine. Me and my friends who stop talking, sometimes, we call each other, when we have time and we met and talk like we are still best friends.
Sorry that you and your friend are going though a dull patch - it happens to everyone. What others have suggested is right - communication is key. If you've let her know that you're bothered by the fact that you don't talk as much, the rest is up to her. If she wants to continue your friendship, she'll change. If not, then it might just be time to make a new friend. It's important to understand that as you grow older (especially when you're going through puberty), you and the people around you can change a lot. Your personalities change, your interests change, and your moods can change rapidly. It might just be that she doesn't feel as close to you as she once did, and while that's sad, it's a natural part of any relationship. Again, sorry that you're going through this. (*hug*)
Well, I just got off the phone with her and I asked her why didn't she reply my messages (that I left two days ago) and all she said was that "I didn't have time to reply". I do understand that she hasn't got time to reply right away, but c'mon, two days? Whenever she writes me, I reply straight away, no matter what I'm doing. It could be that she doesn't feel as close to me as she did, as someone said above it could be because she found a girl friend to who she can relate better. I want to thank you everyone for showing their support and I hope that everything will be just fine in the future. If it comes down to moving on, it'll be hard, but I'll do it. I'm a rather optimistic person. Again, thank you, everyone. L.o.l. Andy
