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Scared and confused

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Aliysia, Jul 5, 2014.

  1. Aliysia

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    I'm not sure where to start, but I've been dating the same man for nearly 2 years now, we have been very close and are very attatched. Lately I have been questioning and I don't know if i should tell him or what I should tell him. He does not accept that I am pansexual, and my family is a whole 'nother story. It's scary when you are so young and have had feelings for so long. I just want to explore who I am, what I like, and what I might want down the road. My mother was born and raised the Catholic way, and had several close gay friends, but she has told me in the past that "she will not have nor tolerate a gay daughter" and that it is "just a phase" :bang: . Where do I go next? I am between a rock and a hard wall here between staying with someone who has put me down so many times yet "makes it up to me" and can be so sweet at times, and walking away to discover who I am deep down. I have dreams of finding new people and exploring new things, but I am too scared to make the first few steps...

    Anyone have any good advice..?
    :help:
     
  2. pinklov3ly

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    Hi, Aliysia! Welcome to EC :slight_smile:

    I think you need to really sit down, talk to your boyfriend and tell him how he makes you feel when he puts you down for being pansexual. If he doesn't seem to care then you really need to rethink your relationship with him. He has no right to put you down because of how you feel.

    Now, about your mother...perhaps, you should wait until you're financially stable and living on your own to tell her about your feelings. I know when I first came out to my Mom, she was very accepting. She didn't try to change me or make me feel bad about who I am. And I don't know your Mom, but considering her religious beliefs, she might try to make you feel bad about who you are and you don't need that right now.

    I can tell you're struggling with your feelings, so please stick around EC. It's such a great place and its helped me a lot (*hug*)
     
  3. Aliysia

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    Thank you so much, I think I will talk to him about it, but only when he comes over. His family is strongly Catholic and saying my sexuality around them would be a death sentence. You are blessed to have an accepting mom, surprisingly my dad was the accepting one (they are divorced) and HE is the one who is overly religious.

    If I had a way to move on they I might separate from my current boyfriend, I have a preference for women also. In my small home town, everyone is already closely knit and there is not really a way for lgbt people to get together, most of us are still completely in the closet, or only out to very close friends. The sad thing is my city is awfully judgmental.

    Once again, thank you so much for sharing a bit of your story, it makes me a bit more confident in what may be to come in the future. (*hug*)
     
  4. paris

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    Hi Aliysia, I agree with pinklov3ly, considering your mom's attitude keep laying low until you're financially stable seems like a wise thing to do. It's true that the first steps are the scariest ones but it shouldn't stop you from discovering who you are because it's so worth it! And, please, don't ever feel bad for wanting to follow your dreams. (*hug*)