Hey all! Those who know me around here or have read my past posts and stuff know I have a boyfriend who I love with all my heart. But right now I just need some comforting and a small cool-down. Recently he has been hanging out with this friend of his, A LOT, like all day yesterday until midnight-ish haha. And just this morning (he's going to the beach with his friend) he told me his friend is also gay. Which I mean would get anyone a little uneasy when they hang out that much. I asked him if they ever did anything since they hang out a lot, he said the most was his friend falling asleep leaning on him in the car last night on their way home. Which isn't a big deal. He said nothing else has ever happened and I trust that. He told his friend he has a boyfriend and said he can promise me that if anything ever happens with them he will tell me, which I also trust. So basically everything is fine, I truly believe that he can hang out with anyone whenever gay or not as long as nothing happens between them. So everything is fine, just I'm still a bit uneasy from the news haha. I just need something to help me cool-down and relax a bit.
Hey. I remember your other thread about your worries concerning cheating, and I think you should approach this the same way. I think it's completely natural and OK to feel uneasy after hearing that sort of news, even if you really do trust him. I would probably be the same way. What I do is try not to think of it. That usually works with anything. Do stuff you enjoy, whatever that may be. Play games, draw, write, sing, play an instrument, anything that gets your spirits up. Don't dwell too hard on it. Sorry for the cliche, typical advice, but it's what helps me sometimes. Haha. I hope you feel better, dude.
I totally understand where you're coming from. I mean, you can't monitor what he does 24/7 and you just have to trust him. I'm glad at least that he said that he has a boyfriend. So, I'm sure he was thinking of you the entire time .
I really hope so, my biggest fear with he starting to be really close to that friend is that he will want that more than me.... Since we're long distance and that wouldn't be :c that's my biggest fear now
Oh yeah, that really sucks, dude. I'm sorry. But if he loves you, he shouldn't care that you're far away. Just because someone's closer doesn't mean the relationship will be better. One of my friends' boyfriend is moving away and he thought it would be better to go to a new, closer relationship. So he broke up with the guy, but the new relationship didn't work out. So he went back, and now they're a happy couple again. Haha. This friend was in a relationship with the guy for two whole years, and to quote him, "I was stupid to think I would be happier with someone I knew for a month." I didn't think he was stupid, but you get the point. It doesn't matter how far away you two are.
Hey, I take it this is your first and a new relationship for you. The fact that he has told you all about him shows honesty and I wouldn't worry about it. Trust takes a lot of time to build so I'd take things step by step. Have a virtual hug too and I hope it goes well for you.
I can't sleep, because everytime I get off my phone or something and try to close my eyes, my mind races. And one way or the other it finds its way to this subject and hurts me and now I can't fall asleep... I need some more comforting :c
That is such an essential thing in a healthy relationship: complete honesty. Although, if I were told that line: "if anything ever happens", that would make me uneasy too...I know from my previous (straight) relationships how painful jealousy can be. I'm not blaming you at all if you are feeling it, I would totally feel it, were I in your position. As another member said, best thing is not to dwell on. or think about, them hanging out together; rather, try to accept what your bf has said, that they are just friends and nothing more, and absorb yourself in either getting things done that need doing, or having fun in other ways. Don't let your mind slowly torment you with thinking about it too much (as I used to do, unfortunately); put your attention on other things instead. take care, Damien.
I really just want to meet him... We've been together for a year and a few months now, and we still haven't. I have this fantasy of meeting and right away we hug and just all the pain will melt from me with that one, beautiful hug.... Gosh what I would do for that.... I'd give the world to feel that moment with him..
When you fall in love with someone you are taking a chance with your heart. It's rather like putting your beating heart in someone elses hand and hoping they will handle it with care rather than drop it or crush it... in other words you are taking a chance on love and you are putting huge trust in the other person. Why worry? Because we so often hear about other people having their hearts broken and we fear it will happen to us next. We ponder over this and start to panic about what it will do to us if we discover that our trust has been misplaced. It's scary, isn't it? When you fall in love, you also fall into a bit of a risk versus reward scenario. The reward is the many great and wonderful feelings that come with being in love, but you have to take a risk to get there. The risk is putting your faith in another person and hoping they will always do the right thing by you. As you can't monitor their every movement that means trust.. the foundation of every strong relationship. It's hard, but you just have to trust. It sometimes takes time to get there and you might be anxious about trusting, but you just have to do it. Remember, no risk, now reward.
I really really appreciate everyone's help, but I still just need comforting at this point. Every time they hang out, which is a lot... It hurts me, which is a lot.... I hatee itttt. I'm not going to tell him he can't hang out with his friend, that's mean and stupid. Im just.... Ugh idk why i feel like this
You're probably sad that he, his friend, gets to hang out with your boyfriend while you, his boyfriend, is a long ways away. I honestly think it's a legitimate feeling. I would feel the same way. Texting, calling, and video chatting can only do so much. I'm not really sure how to go about this, since I've never been in a long-distance relationship, but just imagine that one day you'll finally be able to meet him and these feelings will be gone. When? Who knows? But if you think you can do it, maybe you can talk it over with him. I know some people are embarrassed about sharing their feelings, and maybe you're the same way, but it's worth a try if you can.
