Anti-Gay Parents

I'm so sorry your parents are like that.

Perhaps, the next time they say something derogatory like that, try shooting them down. Don't just go with what they say. Ask them what's so wrong with being gay, and if they pull the typical "Because God says so!" then ask them if God is truly the loving god they think he is.

And, if they think it's "unnatural," for goodness' sake, show them this page:

Homosexual behavior in animals - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

If all else fails, you can tell them to stop talking about gay people. You can even add a "it makes me uncomfortable," because that's the truth. But they'll take it the wrong way. They'll think you're uncomfortable because you're against gay people, not because they're offending you.

I understand if you can't or don't want to speak up against your parents' homophobic remarks, so please don't feel guilty, and please don't feel like it's your fault.

I hope things get better for you. (*hug*)

 

Obviously the best case scenario would be that they didn't say those things in the first place - but - would it make you feel better if they felt bad about what they're saying?

In 3 years time or whenever you come out to them - assuming they're truly caring, loving and accepting people when it comes to their own children - they'll think back to all of the homophobic comments that they made and they'll feel really bad about them.
Something in your post suggests that they are caring, loving and accepting - they just don't know it yet.

It does get better.
Even in a small rural town, there are others out there that are going through the same thing.
Many have also been in your situation and come out the other side as extremely strong and happy individuals.

Peace! (*hug*)

 

Hi falcenav

we've sent people to the moon and back, and can make computers that fit inside a wristwatch, but some folks are as though still living with the mindset of the Middle Ages. I really feel for you. How hurtful that sounds, that they put down gay people like that, right in front of you. Just wondering, is there any other relative you could live with? Someone less ignorant, perhaps, who would take you in? I am assuming you are old enough to make a decision like that. Maybe you could finish your studies living somewhere else, then when the time is right, get your own place. Just an idea.

 

Hey, I know how this feels and I'm so sorry that you have to deal with parents like that

I agree with Nych, if it wouldn't make them super mad, then don't let them get away with ignorant comments! Don't be so direct to where they would think you are gay before you are ready to tell them, but just ask them in general about homosexuality and try to question their beliefs a bit.

I understand, it stinks too because I've been a good kid for most all my life, have As & Bs so far in high school, but yet they would yell at me just for trying to stand up for gay people, so I know how they would feel if they knew I was bi ><

I'd say wait to come out until you are out of their house if you think they'll harm you or anything. Hopefully they don't, or I will get them back haha xD I know it sucks hiding youself from the people who are supposed to accept you for you, but I think it's best to wait. Definitely don't blurt it over anger either, sometimes I think of doing that, but that honestly wouldn't be a good way to come out in the long run.

I hope things get better for you and please ignore their comments and know that you are perfect just the way you are!(*hug*)

 

You don't know that for sure. Most likely they would still love you, just be disappointed and upset. And if they're really homophobic, they'll never fully accept it and keep hoping you'll meet a girl and fall in love or something silly like that. That's what I'm dreading most myself, that if I ever come out to my parents, they could never be happy for me and still hope that I find a man. Tbh I think I'd rather them stop talking to me completely than act that way. It sucks, especially when you hear how supportive some people's family is. If you have to live with them, maybe it's not a good time to tell them.

 

Or they'll just be upset at first but will realise you're still the same person and will learn to accept you and continue to love you.

 

This is exactly why I've kept it secret from my family. Its a shame you have to be in that situation falcenav I wish I could talk to them (its scary but I would want to help if I was a close friend) it can only get better from there my friend keep your chin up! (*hug*)

 

I'm in the exact same situation here it sucks.

It is also the reason that I have told a teacher that I'm a lesbian before I have my own parents. Because I know that my teacher is more likely to accept me than my parents.

I'm so afraid of being a disappointment to my parents by being a lesbian. I wish that homosexuality was a choice you could make, but it's not and, alike many others, I am stuck in this situation.

I'd like to say that maybe one day it will all be sorted, but being the pessimist I am... I'm expecting for my parents to disown me.

 

I have them too.. I just pretend I'm not gay around them to make them feel better.. It's not a real solution, but if it makes em happy, it's what I'll do! (Came out when I was 14..)

 

I know how you feel. My cousin came out and my parents asked uf his parents smacked him so hard he'd be getting up off the floor cause that's what they'd do.

 

That sucks. Now I understand why your in Narnia. Was he joking?


My parents made jokes when I was younger. It always bothered me, but with all the other issues I had I never said anything. When I turn 19 or so and moved back from Uni the first time to help them, I changed that. Now I openly defend gay rights and such against them. I still havent told them im into guys too, but atleast they dont make any fucking jokes anymore. I really cant remember the last joke they told. Still dont think they would be accepting unfortunately.

When the person up there said living with another family member I THINK they meant one you could come out to, and then maybe they could help making the move happen. I dont know if it is serious enough in your shoes though. I mean if it happens 3-4 times a year there is no need. If it is everyday who knows.

I dont know how old you are and I would never have defended gay rights when I was younger. Therefore my suggestion is to tell them you dont appreciate that, there is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with being gay, and you have recently befriended someone who is and that offends you. Make sure you have a name handy before you start, preferably not one of your real friends names .