Hey guys so I'm not out of the closet to anybody but myself. I'll be a freshman in college this fall and I was looking to join the LGBT Club on campus. Only problem is that I am feeling super anxious about this. I'm worried people will judge me and nobody will want to be friends with me at a critical point in the friend-making time period in also worried my family will pop over to visit and find something to do with the club in my dorm room. Not sure if this is really worth all the anxiety. Any advice would be much appreciated!
In my experience, people in college tend to be very open to the people in theLGBTQ community. When I started college and someone asked about my sexuality or it came up in conversation, it was treated just like it should be: like it's no big deal. I mean, yeah some people have questions, but generally everyone has more important things to do than hound you about your sexuality. It's very relaxed.
You don't have to make it known that you're going to the LGBT center if you don't want to. It's definitely worth going, both in terms of helping you figure out who you are and in terms of making friends and finding an LGBT community at your school. As for making other friends, your LGBT identity is as big or as little a part of it as you want it to be. Once I got through the initial coming-out process with my friends, the fact that I'm gay is just one of the things they know about me and it's not a huge deal.
Coming from experience, I never let anyone know that I was apart of the LGBT organization on campus, unless you want to. That's at your discretion. I felt like I was able to learn more about myself as a result of going to meetings and talking to people. Yes, of course, there will be good and bad people and it'll help with choosing whom you want to be friends with. Like the other Perry the Platypus above me stated, you don't have to go there for the sole purpose of making friends. There's dozens of other organizations on campus where you could do the same. Your sexual orientation is such a small part of you and that doesn't always have to be the common thread and basis for all your friendships. I made a lot of Hispanic and French-African friends (thus I speak fluent Spanish along with French) because I went to Spanish club and French clubs simultaneously, along with going to the LGBT organization on a weekly basis. Yes, go to the LGBT organization in order to make friends if you wish, but don't limit yourself already!
I can't speak for all LGBT campus groups, but the one I was involved in for a couple of years was as discreet as you needed it to be. If someone wanted to be called a certain name, but only during meetings/activities with the group because they were not out, then so be it. If someone wanted to share their orientation but needed everyone to tell people they were a straight ally until they were ready to come out, so be it. Most people in these groups will get it if you're on the DL. It's worth at least looking into! You can always leave or stop going at any time. It's not like you'll have to carve it into stone and alert the media if you decide you want to try and befriend some people in the LGBT group at school, they'll get it and you might make some good, supportive, understanding friends to boot!
My campus had an Allies Program for Students, Staff, and Faculty. I went through that first, it was very informative, welcoming and accepting. I then started joining the LGBT Student Groups. Lambda was a social group. They threw spring and fall semester drag show parties. Those were fun. The other was a more political awareness group.
