So my homophobic grandmother is visiting from North Carolina (a conservative american state for those outside the US) and I haven't come out to my extended family yet. At the time it's not an option to come out, meaning I have to hide it. She's been here one day and I'm already feeling stressed and nervous and it's driving me a little crazy. I was just wondering if anyone had any advice to help me deal with it, she'll be here for the next two weeks and I think Imight lose it bbefore the end of it. :help:
Can you possibly tell her to politely shut the :***: up about gay people when she goes off about it? If she asks why, tell her the truth - you're uncomfortable with it. Most likely, she'll assume you're uncomfortable because you're against gay people, not because you're gay yourself. And if she asks why to that... well, do you really need to answer her? If it's possible to just avoid her, I'd do that, too. You don't need to suffer through an entire two weeks just because she's your grandmother.
I would suggest staying at a friends... what is she doing that is making you upset? is she actively gay bashing? are you just nervous she will find out? If it is gay bashing, I would suggest same as poster above but when she asks why tell her your ex boyfriend is gay and you care about him and dont need her hatred filling your head... if it is that you think she will find out, I would suggest going to the movies when it gets to be too much... I find the movies relaxing, if you dont, do something you do find relaxing... you could also have her present during a conversation with one of your family members who knows and say something along the lines of the ex boyfriend you cared so much about came out, and while your upset you cant be with him your so happy he felt comfortable enough with you to tell you... Now I hate having to suggest deceit but honestly, I understand where you are coming from and if she is not willing to accept the lifestyle, I would say the ends justify the means... EDIT: I read my post and noticed I was a little unclear about having her present for that convo, the idea was she would "know" you had a bf so your not gay, AND she would know you are accepting of gays and maybe she would be less vocal about the lifestyle, because even though your not gay you accept gay people... I hope that makes sense