I just feel like

Yes. I often feel as if I don't fit in anywhere, I'm neither "one of the girls" nor "one of the guys." I've had friends in the past who were also a little bit in-between, but I haven't met many of those for a long time. I'm also an ex-pat (American living abroad) which makes it worse.

At the moment I feel shy and inhibited around both genders, the only person who really knows anything about me is my husband. He has a group of friends that I'm fairly close with, but even with them I hold back. I have discovered that one of the main problems is that I'm simply not a very good friend, I tend to hold back and never take the initiative to keep a friendship going.

 

I am afraid to make friends. In my process of self discover I had aquired a small group of lesbian friends. Gals I had trusted with my delicate secret. The fact I have been married to a man for 11yrs and recently discovered I am queer. They were there for support I had let them know the deepest parts of me. We shared alot. And now after two years of building what I thought were great friendships they are gone. Won't return my calls or texts. I even ran into someone the other day and she acted all fake like "oh I've missed your face and blah blah blah" . Then when I tried contacting her she ignored me again. And now I am so afraid to get close to anyone. I am hurt by all this. I have one very close friend and that is it. Some work friends but that is all they are-work friends.
So I understand your feelings. It just seems so hard to make a solid connection with anyone.

 

I've been in all your shoes. I've always been an introvert but I forced myself to go out to local LGBT groups so I have others to mingle with, but I did start socializing on LGBT online forums first though to make myself more comfortable. And these guys and gals are some of the nicest people I've ever known. Sure, not everyone is not going to want to hang out or be a friend, but there'll bound to be someone you connect with.

And there's nothing wrong with just having one or two friends only.

 

I always had problem making friends as well. My problem is it felt like no one accepted me for me. Unfortunately, I didn't know who me was which is probably why I felt like that. I never felt like I belonged anywhere and that I was always an outsider looking in. Since I began coming out and accepting I'm gay, I have opened up more and have discovered it's not as difficult to get close to people now, and I am making friends. I think a big part of it is that we need to accept ourselves and who we are before we will truly allow others into our life, and once we can do that, we begin to be open to others and make friends.