My boyfriend prefers masterbation over sex? Advice?

My boyfriend and I have been together almost a year. I'm
27 and he's 28, and by far the best man I've ever been in a relationship with. I trust him and I know that I can always count on him. I love him. I'm very lucky.

Our only issue seems to be sex. Let me preface that the sex is also the best sex I've ever had. I realized after being with him that all my previous partners were boys, and he is a man. There's a big difference (pun not intended).

My issue is that the sex is infrequent. I realize that the frequency of sex tends to decline as time goes, but in my experience is has never been this infrequent this early on. It's usually once a week, sometimes nearly two weeks. We're both pretty busy, but I would say I stay over at his house 5 out of 7 days a week, so its not because we never see each other. I don't doubt that he loves me or finds me attractive (well, some days the latter is in question, though its not due to lack of verbal assurance on his part), but I'm concerned that he masterbates more than we copulate.

Most guys know about "the towel". The one you use to clean up after coitus. Well, I've noticed that the towel is usually in a different place whenever I come over and it appears that it's getting plenty of use even in my absence. Cheating is most certainly not in question...well, at least not with another person.

I've never been a big masterbater. Maybe it's my catholic upbringing that makes me feel guilt when I do it. I also just prefer sex. I've always thought of masterbation as something you do because you're single and there is no need when you have a significant other, which is why I'm concerned. If the placement and cleanliness of the love-towel is any indication, he has sex with himself far more than with me. I hate it when people say "it's just a guy thing". I'm a guy and I hardly ever masterbate, so it's obviously not gender-related.

Also I usually have to initiate sex, which I don't mind, but he almost never does. And I'm tired of always being the one to start things. I want him to roll over and pin ME down for once.

I attempted to bring it up once, but his response was "I love having sex with you! There's no problem at all." And that was it. I didn't want to push it any further, or bring up masterbation. I don't want him to get mad or self-conscious or defensive. We've had one fight in 10 months and I don't want this to be the second.

So what should I do?

 

When we fought before and were talking it out, I brought up that I felt we didn't have sex very often and asked him if there was anything I could do or he wanted to talk about. He said no.

I do trust him. We talk about virtually everything. He's a very open and honest person. I know he feels that masterbation is normal and healthy, which I don't disagree with, unless you're in a relationship and you resort to that more than your boyfriend.

I guess my main concern is that I don't want to seem controlling. He has stated in passing that he doesn't think there's anything wrong with masterbation or watching porn (I don't know if if he watches porn, I have no proof one way or another). I disagree, obviously, but we're both entitled to our opinions. And I don't want to be like, "Don't do that anymore!"

I guess I could've been more open with my concerns and pressed the issue further when we discussed it previously. I did not ask about his masterbation habits.

This is how I thought I might initiate the conversation:
How many days a week would you say we see each other? Have often would you say we have sex? How often do you masterbate? Do you think the last two answers are related?

Obviously I intend to bring it up in a less direct way, as to soften the impact, and preface it by saying I'm not judging or upset, just concerned.

I know in previous relationship my ex had the same issue with me. But my issue was I had stopped taking care of myself and felt undesirable. I need to feel secure in my looks in order to enjoy sex. I know my current boyfriend feels the same way, and lately he's expressed concern about his fluctuating weight (it's literally like 3 lbs. He is gorgeous and I tell him that all day every day.) But I also know that he finds himself attractive. I see him flex in mirrors and check himself out often, so I know that's probably not it.