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Privacy violation

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Anonymous, Jul 12, 2014.

  1. Anonymous

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    So, I just got a new phone and a knew number, and since it was an iPhone, my dad said I could use his Apple ID, since he already had some money from gift cards that he wasn't using on it. I didn't really want to set one up for myself anyway, so I saw no harm in this. The rule with this phone was that my parents were aloud to do random checks whenever they felt like it, which I am perfectly fine with. But then after a few weeks, I'm in the kitchen making lunch, and my mom walks in and asks me if I feel like I've been using my phone responsibly. I answer yes, and then she tells me that she read the text I sent to my friend J. For anyone who uses the internet frequently, you will know the F*CK HER RIGHT IN THE P*USSY joke, and I had sent those words to J, but deleted them off my phone right away since my parents wouldn't understand the joke and I didn't want them getting angry. My mom told me that she and my father had both seen the text, and we're furious at that kind "vulgarity". Now I'm not allowed to text J (my parents are very strict about this kind of language). I asked how she read the text and why she was bringing it up now (I didn't even remember sending it since it was a long time ago and my parents also hadnt checked my phone in a while). Apparently, my dad made it so that his iPod received messages that have been addressed to my iPhone, so he is able to read what I'm sending and what is being sent to me. I feel so betrayed! I understand that my parents want to protect me and keep me safe, that's why I was ok with giving them my password to my phone, but it feels like my privacy is violated. I feel like I can't talk to my friends anymore because it's like my parents are involved in my conversations. I want to reason with them so that they can change it back to the way that they used to monitor my phone use, random check that I had a little control over, but since the whole incident with J I don't think that they will be willing.

    There have been similar incidents like this one, namely my parents got so strict with my phone use that they wouldn't let me have it in my room and only use it after I did countless chores, but we talked with my counsellor and she convinced them to let me have more freedom. I don't go to counselling anymore, and I think the reason that they are doing this is because my counsellor can't tell them that what they are doing is wrong (it's happened before, where they disregard advice from the counsellor after i stop going).

    Any advice on how to bring up the conversation and what to say please
     
  2. BiPenguin

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    Wow. Sorry to hear this. As a parent myself, we award our children trust. Too many parents no longer trust their children any more but trust lying mongrels of Gov't and the Church.

    Not sure what you can say to them really.
     
  3. Anonymous

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    It just frustrates me to think that my own parents didn't even trust me from the start
     
  4. Chip

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    How old are you? Age plays a lot into this here. The level of trust a 13 year old gets is very different from the level of trust a 17 year old gets, so that will help with giving you a reasonable and useful answer.