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I'm afraid my dad found out i'm bi and i don't know what to do

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by kelly96, Jul 13, 2014.

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  1. kelly96

    kelly96
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    Hi, my names Kelly and i've been completely freaking out recently because im afraid incase my parents have found out in bisexual. I had been keeping a diary about my sexuality and using it to help get my feelings out and i usually am very paranoid about keeping it hidden. However one night I was using it I was extremely tired and put it under my pillow and fell asleep. The next morning I woke up and was in a rush to leave the house and completely forgot about the diary I left under my pillow. I came back and my bed had been made. I am so scared that my Dad found the diary while making my bed and read it. Due to personal things that have happened in the past I know that if he found it he would have read it to make sure everything was ok with me and i'm terrified at the thought of it. I'm only out to 3 of my closest friends and even then I couldn't tell any of them in person. Although I did have a long conversation to my best friend about it she thinks I should tell him. But I really don't want to and i'm not ready for him to know. I don't think he would be angry but he would be upset and I don't want things to be awkward between us either. This happened about a week ago and so far he hasn't brought it up but my head has been wrecked with nerves and fear its all i can think about. Anytime he calls me or goes to talk to me i fear hes going to bring it up. I've been avoiding talking got him or being in a room alone with him in case he tries to talk about it. The thought of talking to him about it completely freaks me out and I don't know what to do. There is a chance that he might not have moved the pillow to make my bed and would not have seen but there is still a big chance he did. (Sorry its so long)
     
    #1 kelly96, Jul 13, 2014
  2. wolf of fire

    wolf of fire
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    As it has been a week I don't think he will bring it up, most likely he found it and did not read it or read it and decided to let you come out in your own time.
     
    #2 wolf of fire, Jul 13, 2014
  3. ABeautifulMind

    ABeautifulMind Banned

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    First of all, that was not long. Trust me :slight_smile:

    I have the same sort of thing, a journal I write in. I can totally understand why your worried. That said, the way I see it there are 3 outcomes here:

    1. He never saw it, never noticed, and your in the clear.
    2. He saw it, read it, and put it back, realizing that you would come to him when you are ready, and is using the current time to process his feelings.
    3. He read it and is currently processing his feelings, and will talk to you when he is ready.

    Either way, I think alot can be said by not saying anything within a week. Obviously he is not upset. You may have rushed to assume he would be upset. Perhaps he is more accepting than you think. I say this because if my parents read my journal, it would not take a week for something to be said.

    As far as what you should do, prepare. Mentally. Emotionally. In case that "awkward" convo happens. But make sure to remember, he probably is not upset by this.
     
    #3 ABeautifulMind, Jul 13, 2014
  4. kelly96

    kelly96
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    Thanks for the advice wolf of fire and abeautifulmind. I hope yous are right and he still hasn't said anything so hopefully isn't going to. I'm a bit more relaxed about it now and less paranoid.
     
    #4 kelly96, Jul 15, 2014
  5. Lyr110

    Lyr110
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    I can understand why you'd be scared about the prospect of your parents finding out, but realistically, if they did know they would still love you, and wouldn't hate you for living your life true to who you are. Before I came out even the word "gay" made me freak out, and I can completely sympathise with you, but now that my parents know (they were the first people I told) I feel completely relaxed. I'm not saying you should rush to your dad now and tell him your gay, but just think that if he does know, and nothing bad has happened, then he loves you no matter who you are. Things are kind of awkward, but only for a week, my mum started joking with me about it asking me if there were any hot bar men :grin:. To sum up what I'm saying, don't be intimidated by your sexuality, cause you are who you are and you like what you like, but at the same time don't feel rushed to tell people, do it all in your own time, and eventually things will get sorted out :slight_smile:.
     
    #5 Lyr110, Jul 15, 2014
  6. kelly96

    kelly96
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    thanks :slight_smile: feeling a lot better about it now
     
    #6 kelly96, Jul 16, 2014
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