Don't Understand Anything

I'm a straight male, I signed up here a month or two ago because I had HOCD due to my porn addiction but thankfully I'm past that (and also a proud LGBT supporter) but sadly but also thankfully I think, I'm going through withdrawal.

Since 2 years ago, I experienced romantic feelings for girls who happen to be lesbians. With two situations being the most notable for me. The first was a girl in my history class who at first dressed girly and etc but came out as lesbian later the next year. The 2nd? well, because of the strict rules of this site, I won't say (it's nothing bad or offensive, I just respect the privacy of others) but I ended up coming across the T***blr page of a girl that I briefly spoke to who had HOCD at the same time as me. I was anxious when I noticed it was her, and read her 'about me'....and she's everything like me, like literally.

Because of my addiction, I became an introvert on the outside but I'm still an intelligent extrovert inside that loves enriching conversations. I used to think I was just plain bad with girls when it came to that, but I found out it's because the girls that I perused in my later years were nothing like me on the inside, rendering us incomparable to have the slightest connection.

That's when it came to that other girls T***blr, for the first time I seen the existence of a female that shares my every hobby (excluding the girl hobbies), and outlooks. It was the most shocking revelation for me other than discovering I was a porn addict, but she's pretty much a lesbian. I guess the advice I'm looking for is how do I just forget about it? because it's hard to let go of the fact that you literally came across "The Perfect One" and you weren't searching for them (kinda gave up), they just appeared...and it's rare for you. Plus you're a recovering addict (of whatever) and could really use that. It's like you think it's a "sign" but don't really see how it is one and rather it just go away.

Part of me wants to attempt to talk and get to know her, the other half is looking at the fact that it's a sad slap in the face situation and even though I'm a guy of logic and need answers...it's better left alone and unanswered for I might not get anywhere. It's just...why? why would the most ideal version of a female partner for me appear, and not even have a sexual/romantic preference (or should I say 'interest' for that matter) for males? I wonder if it's a cruel joke by god knows what/who or if it's just the cliche "God works in mysterious ways" and even if one or the other were true...I still don't know why...