Title explains it all... well kind of. You see we met in 5th grade, he'd just moved to Pittsburgh from something like Rock Springs, Wyoming. I have known him for a few years now, and I think I have a crush on him, and with him living in a different part of the state we don't get to see each other that often. That and well I can't be with him anyway... because I have a girlfriend. She's bisexual too. (What are those odds?) She's been open with me and said she has a crush on another girl. (who I used to know and was great friends with) I'd tell her but, well... I'm not amazingly open when it comes to that sort of thing. So what should I do. With my friend going to Alaska tomorrow I wont have much communications with him. That and how do I tell my girlfriend. I also don't know if he's straight or bisexual like me. He has said that he was both of those things (mostly bisexual) but one day he told me he (at least I think) was straight. Also (sometimes joking, mostly passionate) I kind of cuddle up to him when watching YouTube on his iPhone. So really I don't know what to do how do I tell my girlfriend and how do I tell him without completely destroying out friendship? :bang: :bang: :bang:
I would certainly tell your girlfriend before you tell him ... especially since she's already admitted to being in the same kind of situation. I don't think it's fair to mess around behind someone's back, either you have an open relationship and talk about it or you don't. If you plan to remain monogamous with her I see little reason to tell him, to be honest. If you decide to tell her, just say that you need to talk to her about something (most girls love to talk about stuff liek that), then start with "Remember how you told me about your situation with (girlfriend's crush), well I have a similar problem...". Unless you think she'll out you involuntarily, then maybe I'd wonder if I were with the right person...
I also recommend you tell your girlfriend before him. Its better to have somebody you can talk to in person than on here. It feels more personal and since its a personal subject, its better. I've been in that boat before, i had a big crush on one of my mates and i wasn't out AT ALL then, he was confident, funny, outgoing and fun. I went on nights out with him a few times and it was great, i loved it but i couldn't say anything because he was straight and i knew if i did it would ruin our friendship. But that doesn't mean it would ruin yours.
This is my issue pretty much. I absolutely love my bi friend, I'm gay, but I can't bring myself to tell him that I like him, despite opportunities I've had. Relating to your post, you could just tell him. Sounds really simple and stupid but if you just say it what's the worst that could happen? If he's not interested/straight, just shake it off, and if he's really a good friend like you say then it won't be a big problem, and you's will be fine. There's no harm in trying, it won't ruin a friendship, especially if you've been friends for so long, and even if shit hits the fan, you can always give him/yourself some space and resume your friendship. I wish I had the balls to follow my own advice
He already knows you are bi, and he's still your friend, which means he's probably not homophobic (right?). That makes it a little easier. He's straight. What are you hoping to gain by telling him? There's no way to avoid the risk, unless you tell him in a joking way, and then pretend you are only messing around when it gets awkward. And if he's truly straight, it probably will get awkward...
If he's 100% straight and you know that there's no point messing with his mind and your own. You could tell him if you really need to get it off your chest but don't expect anything to come from it if he's straight. We can't tell you how to tell him as we don't know you or him or the whole situation, and tbh I agree with Juliet, there's nothing to gain by telling him, and it may be awkward and may be purposely damaging your friendship. If you're literally going insane and you NEED to tell him, go ahead, but if it's avoidable I'd suggest that you accept that he is a friend and keep it that way. Whatever you choose I wish you luck
Good news everyone, I have told him details about this, and I will tell him tomorrow because right now it quite late at night.
