How do you feel about straight crushes?

Extremely frustrating but I'm the type of person who would usually have a crush on someone but at the end of the day it starts to fade.

I usually have a strong attraction to douchebags but I get turned off by it right away because their personality sucks so much.

 

Even though straight crushes do let me ride on an emotional rollercoaster, personally I find the drawbacks too emotionally painful. It really does suck to know that the crush I have will never be reciprocated though.

 

I've only had one major crush, and she turned out to be totally straight. "Sucky" and "heart-crushing" are the only words I can use to describe it.

 

I never crush on straight girls anymore. I find them to be a huge turn-off in general, because they either aren't going to like you anyway, or they WILL be interested in you but just want to use you as an experiment and throw you in the trash bin when they have their way with you. Straight girls are like the equivalent of players in our community and I would never allow myself to get attached again.

Also...I hate crushes in general. You get so many draining physical symptoms just for nothing (since half the time they won't like you back). I'm lucky that I rarely get attracted to people and rarely have crushes; I can't imagine feeling this way all the time, much less for a straight person.

 

A waste of my damn time as soon as I hear a girl's straight I give up on her she's not worth it in my book :dry: even if she is bi curious I ignore the bi curious type to I'm no body's lab experiment .

 

We have to take a step back with crushes, take off the rose tinted spectacles and try to properly evaluate what we are feeling and finding so attractive. Is it looks (usually), personality, values, or something else that is so magnetic? It's really important to try to get a handle on the reality of our feelings.

Very often, we develop crushes on people we hardly know, so our feelings and emotions towards that person are formed largely on the basis of looks/appearance. If we don't know the person more intimately we are making a lot of assumptions about their character and integrity and we end up projecting onto that person an idealised set of attributes that may be entirely false. That's a really important thing to understand about crushes. It demonstrates how our feelings start to run away from us and we lose focus on what is real.

Looks are important and we can be really drawn to a person who is very attractive, but looks are far from everything. It's got to be important to feel more than a physical connection. Personally, I need to know that a person has good values and a positive attitude to life and I can't find that out on the basis of a crush from afar.

If you really knew more about your crush and all of her faults and flaws, would you still feel the same? Chances are you wouldn't - you might feel very differently.

When it comes to crushes we need to keep our feet on the ground and not lose perspective between fantasy and reality. I don't mean that in a harsh or patronising way as most of us will have been there (I hold my hands up) but it is an important consideration, otherwise we can end up tying ourselves in an emotional knot over someone who is well out of reach.

 

I don't like crushes in general at all because it can really be distracting and heart-breaking. But I rarely get crushes and when I do I'm aware that its a 'phase' and I try to avoid any conversation with them as possible to lessen it from getting stronger. I usually think straight girls are a big turn-off. When they are interested in you its either a game, experiment, or attention to get guys.

 

Totally agree with the both of you. Crushes are basically idealism in a nutshell...well, they usually are, especially when you don't know the person that well. You try to project things onto them that might not be who they are. Basically crushes are wanting someone to be perfect.

I have a crush right now but It's mainly because of her beliefs rather than just looks (although I admit she's very physically attractive lol). I can find people physically attractive, but I generally don't get crushes (To the butterfly/obsession extent) until I know who they are and what they believe in. This is mainly due to the fact that I'm incredibly shallow/picky when it comes to personality, beliefs, and lifestyles. I rarely ever get crushes for this reason; I can only get them for friends I've known a while.

Missranger has it down spot there. Crushes are horrible; too many physical symptoms, can distract you horribly, and It becomes heartbreaking if you don't distance yourself enough. As for straight women....yeah. Turn-off. I only had a crush on one straight girl in my life but luckily she's not the experimental type; when she found out she just let me down and let me take a break from her. So I got very lucky. But I wouldn't want to risk getting attached to straight girls again because there is a high chance you'll get hurt.