So, I've been in love with my best friend for about 4 years now.. She's straight. (Well, she's pretty sure, she just hasn't ruled out being with a girl, but she's more curious as opposed to bi.. She says she'd much rather be with a guy, and she prefers it, but since she hasn't tried with a girl, she can't rule it out.) Problem is, it's really ruining our friendship. She doesn't know how I feel, but more recently I've been getting quite harsh toward her and taking my jealousy out on her. She's been starting to see this boy (who I've known since I was about 4) and they'll be going out soon enough, it's just a matter of time. I've been getting quite hurt and angry and the friendship is kind of being ruined because of my actions. I would much rather us still be friends, I mean it's gunna hurt so much more, losing her as a friend. The problem is, do I just let the friendship die? Or do I tell her and explain everything that's going on, so atleast she can try to understand and we can try and salvage our friendship? She doesn't want to lose me either and we're gunna have a 'massive talk' to try and work it out but do I just tell her how I've been feelling? Maybe not tell her it's love, just tell her I have some feelings for her and I've been getting jealous but I'd rather us stay friends. Maybe then I can just move on? I don't know, I know it's a common story for lesbians to be in love with the straight best friend.. Any advice would be greatly appreciated thank you! (&&&)
I know from experience that it wouldn't work out. You can still be friends, but you probably need to keep a distance from her until you can get over your feelings.
If you think the friendship is definitely going to die anyway then you have nothing to lose by telling her. Explain to her that this is you trying to save the friendship and not come on to her. If she doesn't react the way you hope she will and you think the friendship would have died anyway then you haven't lost anything and if you don't say anything and the friendship dies you'll always wonder what if you told her. Although if you think you can fix the friendship without telling her I would say try that first.
That's quite a painful situation. It's disheartening that the one outcome that would make you happy is probably not happening. I have good news for you though. I was really in love with my straight best friend and she didn't know about it. I was with her every single hour of the day. It was like that for a little more than 4 years. Then, she met a guy and started a relationship. Of course, she would tell me all about it which killed me inside. One day, I decided it was enough and even went to talk to a counselor. It really helped. I can safely say I'm over her. You need to make a decision, are you going to tell her? Are you going to try and forget her? Should you choose the latter, her relationship with this guy will be the best thing for you. It will make it way easier for you to pull through. I remember hoping for my friend to notice my feelings and act on them. It didn't happen. But I'm much happier and at peace now. And we continue to be best friends. It is possible girl, be strong
