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A breakup

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by IceKunoichi, Jul 18, 2014.

  1. IceKunoichi

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    So my girlfriend of three years and I broke up last night.We had been friends for eight years and just fell for each other.Well we had some problems and last night she said that we should start over,Like just dating,Not quit girlfriends yet.Which I don't get.How is starting over going to fix it?It is not like she is just going to magically forget.She want's to try and win each other back which I don't get.How am I supposed to win her back again.She know's me and I know her.I shouldn't have to start over again.She knows my feelings for her.I just don't know if there is a hidden meaning behind this.I am only going along with it so I don't lose her.And we are still talking so that is the only thing that is good.But it feels like nothing happened.She still talks like shes upset when this was her idea.Has anyone else gone through this?
     
  2. greatwhale

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    I could be wrong, so don't take my words for gospel, but it seems to me that she is trying to recapture the magic of your first weeks together.

    In a sense, she is trying to re-create the romance that comes with new relationships. In fact, it seems that she is trying to do something beautiful: trying to get you to win her back again, to make those efforts that only new love inspires; she needs to feel wanted and not taken for granted.

    You say you know each other, well...maybe she is giving you an opening for creating a little mystery between yourselves. Even if it's a pretend mystery, it's the game that counts!

    What are you willing to do to win her heart all over again?
     
  3. tulipinacup

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    I have also been with a 3 year relationship with someone and due to the wrong things I've done, he ended it. We haven't formally talked for more than 2 months now and he told me that needs time to heal from all of this. I think when your girlfriend said that she wanted to start things over she meant that the relationship you guys had for 3 years is completely gone. That's how I see it with mine. I never really understood it as well in the first place but I finally realised that If I want us to be friends again, then it's better if we all leave the past behind.

    I broke my ex-lover's trust and it's a price that I have to pay so whatever he needs to be healed, I am willing to respect that. Maybe it's the same with your girlfriend too. I think you should ask yourself why would she want to start over again? Why do you think she's upset? I think this is something that you guys need to carefully talk about before making a decision. I hope this helps, sorry for rambling.
     
  4. IceKunoichi

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    They both make a lot of sense.Sometimes I feel like she wants to see what I will do and other times it seems like shes already done.But I know it takes two to make a relationship work too.