Am I Just Jealous?

It does sound like you're jealous, but that's not necessarily something to be ashamed of. You're attracted to her, and you feel it's unfair that Dan has the advantage of not being trans. People get jealous. That's normal and okay.

Honestly, it's going to suck. That might not be what you want to hear, but there's no magical cure for attraction (from what I understand haha) and it might fade over time, but there are no guarantees.

It sounds like there's also some social dysphoria kind of all mixed up in there. If that's the case, it might get more bearable soon. You could just be having a bad day dysphoria-wise.

But yeah, I suggest sleeping on it, you might feel better in the morning!

 

This is tough situation for a couple of reasons. Usually, my advice about jealousy is that it comes from a place inside and has much less to do with the other people involved, but it sounds like you already recognize that, which is a great first step to jumping this hurdle.

Obviously you can't change how you were born or who someone else is interested in being with, you already know that and that's why it's hard, but how about thinking about it this way:
you say that Dan is very like you and now he is dating someone you totally would date. this information could be depressing because it's him and not you, or it could be a sign that there are people in the world who will be interested in being with someone like you and those people will be people that you will be interested in also. in this situation, it's hard because you're looking at it like "that could be me if I were a cis male", but what's harder to see is the reality of "that will be me, regardless of my gender--just not with Anna, with someone else instead"

It's hard to remember this while it's happening, but lots of people have this tendency, when they're crushing on someone or jealous of other people's relationships, to view this person in their sight or this relationship as 'perfect for them' if only x, y or z were different. In your case it's like "Anna would be perfect for me if I were a cisgender guy", but that's beside the point. It's like settling in your mind. Why wouldn't you look for someone who is actually perfect for you without having to change the situation or yourself to make it fit? If you have to drastically change things to fit someone with you, then they aren't 'perfect for you'. Someone who doesn't require that kind of change will be. And you shouldn't have to change to be with someone great.

That all being said, it may still be difficult for you to see them together for a while. You're right that the best bet here is time, and whatever space that you need.
If you need to only hang out with them separately or in a group of people, then do that. If you need to take some time out and not see them at all, then do that. If you need to see them together so that you can accept it, then do that. Whatever feels better for you, is best for you. Give it time.

(*hug*)

 

Hmm, well you do sound jealous to me my dear, and weirdly enough I have had similar experiences. Being a girl, it's hard being able to get a girlfriend sspecially with all the girls that come into my workplace. I see the guys I work with flirting with these girls and wishing that I could do that. But, like I said, because I'm a girl, I would most likely freak a lot of them out a little. So there have been many times where I wish I had been born a guy to make things easier. Now in terms of your situation my dear, I don't think there is much you can do other than be there for Anna and support her and show how great of a friend you are. Who knows? Maybe she might see that she's missing an opportunity in front of her face
Like you and I talked about, I can't relate too much to your experiences as they may be different, but I hoped this helped a little