Stuck... and worry about friend.

I'm sure it's no secret to anyone on this board that I've needed a lot of support lately. I've been feeling like I'm getting close to the point of telling some IRL friends about my sexuality, but I recently got some news from my closest friend (and the person I planned on talking to about this) that's both got me worried and has thrown a wrench into the gears.

I know she has bipolar and goes through rough periods sometimes. She just informed me that she's in a major depressive episode at the moment and she's bad enough off at the moment that she's had an emergency therapy appointment and is going to be assessed for a day treatment program.

Clearly, it doesn't seem like a good idea to come out to her right now. I don't know if I feel comfortable enough with other friends to discuss my sexuality just yet, but I also feel really isolated, have been going through depression myself, and I'm worried that the brakes may be put on indefinitely. I also know that my friend is probably going to need a lot of support, herself, which, while I told her she can always share with me, I am honestly not sure how much I can handle right now. I'm feeling pretty stuck.

Part of me hopes we can get into a situation where she shares what's going on with her and I'm able to share in kind. Part of me realizes that while my friend is in crisis that's kind of a selfish thought, and I worry about putting anything additional on her right now. All of me, however, is glad she's looking into treatment.

 

I suppose it's a possibility, but in my mind she's been the person I have planned to tell first for awhile now, before any of this came up. So I don't think it's that it's a "way out" but you may be right about the fixation. It's just that she and I have the type of relationship where we tell each other things like this, and in my "anticipated reactions" she seems like she'd be the calmest and the easiest to talk it through with. Part of me feels a little like I could even be "betraying" her by not telling her first, though in these circumstances hopefully she'd understand. I'm also fairly sure she's bisexual, where the others are all straight.

Our other friends are just a lot harder to talk to and I'm just not as close with them. A clear example, she's told me about what's going on with her right now, but she is trying to think about excuses to tell our other friends. Another more positive example, I was the first of our group of friends she told she was pregnant, well before any of the others knew.

 

Now that it's sinking in, I'm starting to over-worry about her, too.. she sometimes hides this stuff from me as she knows it makes me anxious. She was hiding it for some time before things imploded, apparently. I just hope she can get into the day treatment and they care for her well there.

 

Thanks, jay777. I think things like this just really freak me out because of a severely emotionally dependent relationship I had in the past. I'm trying to remind myself this friend is not like him, and she's doing what she can to get herself help. She also has her husband to lean on, too.

And thank you, it's from Frozen.