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Crying again because of my parents

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by ResidentTheatreKid, Jul 22, 2014.

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  1. ResidentTheatreKid

    ResidentTheatreKid
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    Location:
    Brighton, UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    *insert loud and frustrated scream here*

    *insert many flipped tables here*

    THEY ARE DOING MY HEAD IN.

    I AM SERIOUSLY NOT FAR FROM TELLING THEM IM A LESBIAN AND MOVING OUT.

    ARRRRGGGGHHHHH.

    *insert slightly more calm Nicole here*

    I'm not sure how much more of this I can take.

    I'm sick of feeling like I'm a failure because of my sexual orientation.

    I'm not out to my family, for fear that I'd be disowned.

    I'm SICK of ending up crying because I hate myself and being who I am.

    I'm fed up of every conversation ending up with having something to do with my future husband and having boyfriends and dating boys when none of that shit will ever matter to me, and being teased about being a lesbian when I ignore them. And they don't even know.

    I'm fed up with them being so homophobic. Today my mum was ranting in the car because two girls kissed in the shopping centre. She said that shouldn't be allowed, people find it awkward.
    I find straight couples awkward. They shouldn't have rights either.

    I'm breaking up from school tomorrow. Meaning no counselling for 6 weeks, and I have to deal with this shit alone.

    And this probably makes no sense. I'm crying a lot and it's late.

    *curls up in a ball*
     
    #1 ResidentTheatreKid, Jul 22, 2014
  2. Clay

    Clay
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    They wouldn't disown you, and ever needs a good rant every once in a while.
     
    #2 Clay, Jul 22, 2014
  3. greatwhale

    greatwhale
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    Location:
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    Out to everyone
    I hear you...

    For the next six weeks post here at EC, post often. I guarantee you won't be alone.

    *sends a cross-Atlantic hug*
     
    #3 greatwhale, Jul 22, 2014
  4. pcsantos

    pcsantos
    Regular Member

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    Gender:
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    It is quite frustrating. When people, especially parents, show any kind of homophobic behavior it just feels so personal. As if they're attacking the core of who you are. Focus on the fact that as your parents they (usually) want you to be happy, and for them homosexuality would only isolate you. Of course, they have yet to understand the wonderful feeling of being yourself and being with someone you truly love.

    Hang in there, try to remain calm. It is not convenient for you and your future to move out right now. And as greatwhale says, you have friends here.
     
    #4 pcsantos, Jul 22, 2014
  5. Damien

    Damien
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    Location:
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    Having been a teen once myself, what you said here reached my heart, where so many tears over this have been secretly shed; and a quiet echo came back as: love yourself, love being who you are, which I hope reaches you from across cyberspace.

    It's a really hard day, but it will pass, and better days will arrive again. Hang in there. :slight_smile:
     
    #5 Damien, Jul 22, 2014
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