Feel bad when people around me enter a relationship

Hello, everyone.

As of late, I've run across something that really, really bothers me. I don't know why, but I chat with a lot of people on the internet and stuff and have many friends around the web.

The problem is that I always start feeling really, really bad whenever someone around me enters a relationship, something that I don't even have something to do with in the first place. It's like this hard knot in my stomach every single time this situation arises.

I have no idea why I feel like this, and it's feels as if I'm loosing a bit of contact with these people I really enjoy being with because they get into a relationship.

I don't understand! Does anybody recognize this feeling? Is this jealousy? I cannot place these stupid feelings or pain. :bang:

 

This is not exactly an educated or informed reply as it's going to be the last post before I head to bed, but here it is:

If you feel that knot especially with male friends, then yes, it might be jealousy, obviously.

Alas...

You might also simply be feeling that way since you're just very sad that they have what you don't. Seems like you really, really wish for a nice relationship, so when others get what you would love to have, it makes sense that it would knot your guts.

The worst possibility is that you are constantly afraid of being abandoned, especially by friends. Relationships usually take away from the time you can spend with your friends, so that would make sense.

I think it's that you're just very sad and disappointed about that you don't get to find a nice partner for a relationship yourself - Yet! I strongly believe there are enough good matches out there for you. Others get what you crave - That doesn't need to be direct jealousy, it can just be disappointment and sadness.

 

There are many old words for what you are feeling, jealousy and envy come to mind...but remember that people who enter into relationships are entering into something that will challenge them tremendously, something that will preoccupy them constantly and for the most part, they are trading in the tranquility of solitude for both the delights and the pitfalls of a relationship.

It might be helpful to remember some lines from the song "Fools in Love" by Inara George:

 

I suppose that makes sense... I've never been in a real relationship. Only ones I've had were internet, and after crying myself to sleep on several of those occasions, I've decided that LDR's never work out. Meh, you're probably right..

 

Does observing the relationships make you feel like less of a person, less of a success, less attractive, less worthy, not good enough etc...?

If it's not jealousy, it could be more to do with your inner critic than anything that's happening externally. e.g. low self confidence, self acceptance, self worth.

If you think this is the case, it might be worth talking about those feelings with someone or reading some books about the causes and possible journeys to go on to get out of those habits.

Peace! (*hug*)

 

Not really... At least not in a way that I notice. I just get this horrible knot in my stomach and I feel bad for the rest of the day.

I have kind of a bad track record when it comes to self confidence and acceptance and all that, at least when it comes to anything regarding my sexuality or relationships. Heh, It's kinda pathetic how I can stand up in front of several hundred people and do speeches, but I can't stomach a friend going into a relationship.

 

Bump.

...So what the heck do I do?

 

I think I know how you feel. I have a few friends in relationships and I'm just all like "I want to have a girlfriend too.." >_> But then I think, "Ah, I have a whole life ahead of me. I'll be in a relationship soon. My friends are awesome, they'll make time to talk to me. They aren't the kind to ignore their friends. Yeah!" And then I either daydream about it or think of something else.
Or maybe I'm just too optimistic to be of any help.

 

I'm not a psychiatrist, yet but I would say your probably just scared they will leave you because they will be too busy with their other. Is that sorta right? tbh Ive always gotten that same feeling. When like my lady friends got boyfrinds or even my male friends (who are only straight btw) get girlfriends, but then I look at those relationships and think to myself "man they just dont seem worth it with all the work you have to put in to them". Two boys together though probably works way diffrently, so honestly Idk I want a boyfriend, I just hope its not like a hetero relationship.