So, gf and I have been together 3.5 months - and we're talking about moving in together at some stage. I can't help myself but want to share lots of time with her - we just spent the best part of a week together, and didn't tire of each other's company. But - part of me is a bit scared as in reality things are still very early days. But I miss her when we're apart for any great length of time. I'm surprised how quickly these feelings have developed into something rather deep. Any other female-loving ladies relate?
I can certainly relate to your surprise at how quickly your feelings have developed into something rather deep...I've been with my gf 15 month now, we live a couple of hours apart and don't see each other nearly as much as either of us would like. In the beginning I was shocked at how strong my feelings were for her (but now just accept that that is the way it is for us)...I had never been in a proper relationship with a woman...just dated/experimented a bit...we spoke quite early on about making the commitment of living together but life keeps getting in the way...or maybe that is just an excuse to hide my fear! I think it's ok to be scared...and normal to want to spend as much time together as possible...but it is early days...just go with the flow...make choices that feel right for you at the time...talking about moving in together doesn't necessarily mean you have to do it immediately...it just means that you see a future together Good luck with it all
Thanks, Tudor. I guess there's a world of difference between dreaming about wanting to do something, and actually going ahead and doing it in reality! But, the last few days have been rather silly with me just popping home to do odd bits like laundry and changing clothes! But then there is the security of still having our own households. But - when/if we do move in together, there hopefully shouldn't be too many surprises with things like cleanliness/habits/routines, apart from the fact we won't have as much enforced time apart, which likely will change the current dynamic to some extent. Pretty rubbish for you though with the longish distance thing. Can totally relate to the incredibly intense feelings! Can you see yourself moving in together at some stage?
Talk about your thoughts and worries with your partner if you haven't already. In all honesty there will always be bumps in the road if two people move in together. No matter how long they've been together. You're essentially taking away a vast amount of personal space and that's just something you and your partner need to make sure you are ready for. And if you are, then heck ya! Go for it! U haul all the way! No harm in spending a little more time apart either if you aren't ready yet. Doesn't mean it won't ever happen!
Sometimes the long distance can be hard...but then I kind of like my own space too...we might spend a week together (and I love it, the domesticity of it...coming home to someone)...but then when she's gone I just embrace my alone time...and that's good too. I like to think eventually we will be together (when my kids are settled in their own lives maybe)...but who knows...I just try to enjoy the time we have together and not worry too much about how the future will look. Making excuses to go home when she's there...haha...totally get that...the joy of having that person in your home...surprising them...and no reason it shouldn't be like that still when you move in together :icon_bigg
Wow. I been dating my girlfriend a month and she already moved in with me. I offered my home to her because she was homeless. She and her roommate got into some drama and she felt unsafe where she was. We spoke about how living together for a while might be an option for her given her situation and also given my financial situation. We need to stimulate our finances and in the end, this might work out for the both of us. She made it clear it was temporarily, honestly in see nothing wrong with her wanting her own place down the road. Honestly, I'm getting mentally ready for the move out now rather than wait until because she tends to change her mind a lot and life is too unpredictable to ever fully let myself feel 100% certain about someone else's decisions. She is getting her life in order and so am I, so our focus is on ourselves first and foremost, and also develop a relationship by making the time we spend at home interacting as a perfect laid back opportunity to get to know one another. Being in each others company has actually made us more aware of ourselves and our goals as individuals but when we come together, we have an equally awesome time! We see each other longterm regardless of our living situation and we think that is what matters most. Ultimately, what most lesbians seek from a relationship with another woman is security which we often want by creating a home together. The security of coming home to food, to shelter, a prescense when she is away, her company when she is present, the routine and the financial, emotional, psychological, and sexual stability that it can also bring. Who wouldn't want that, right? In my opinion, just as long as the dating keeps up and as dating and getting to know one another's temperaments, habits, personalities upbringing, beliefs, and compromises along with effective communication. The risk of the relationship going sour happens when routine sets in and the security becomes so stale that it becomes mundane and tiresome. Oftentimes in lesbian relationships, things like age, income, schedules, family, and work become stress factors that need to be discussed first before moving in together. Who will be home the most? Who will clean what and when? Where is she keeping her stuff and how neat are you in relation to her? Etc...
