I don't even know where or how to begin :/ I have never had such a problem before in my life and I really don'T know what to do I've recently change my job and there I befriended with this girl, I thought we had so much in common, she was really funny, laid-back, easy to talk to and really nice, well she still is. She quickly started telling me about her life and her relationship problems, I tried my best to help her and be a good friend. And then one day she told me that she wasn't totally honest with me (and she would like to be, cause she felt she could count on me and thinks I'm her best friend) and confessed that the man she was in a relationship with recently, was actually a girl, and that she's gay. I mean I thought she was with a man till the very end she told me that she wasn't. :/ Anyway, she was really afraid I would stop talking to her, but she felt like she couldn't lie to me anymore. That's what she told me. And the thing is, I didn't stop liking her, I feel honoured that she chose me to reveal her secret and I do apprieciate her honesty. Really. Every day she asks me If I'm ok with it and I am, cause I find it completely irrelevant when it comes to friendship. Unfortunaately, this is where my begin... I have a finace whom I'm going to marry in the nearest future, we have never had any secrets from each other and we really get along and love each other...and now I feel bad I can't share this with him, and the worst thing is, it's not because my friend minds it, but because I think he would not accept the fact I'm friends with a gay person he wouldn't understand, and I'm almost sure he would want me to end it. He has a completely different opinion than me when it comes to lgbt issues. On the other hand, if or when he finds out, not from me, cause it's possible, it can get even worse So this is how it looks like, I don't want to hurt anyone and I don't know what to do
Your fiancee's views on LGBTQ rights should not affect your relationship with your friend! It's really not okay or even healthy for his opinions to determine who you can and can't be friends with. It makes me sad that he has made you so worried and nervous about what sounds like a really beautiful and positive friendship Please try not to worry about his opinions. If you enjoy your friendship with this girl, keep being friends with her! I highly doubt that someone is going to go up to him and say "did you hear........... your fiancee is friends with...................... a gay person". You can always tell him about her without telling him that she's gay. Tell him how nice/funny/a good friend she is. If he did find out that she was gay, at least he knows already that she's a great person and friend! Maybe that would be a good lesson in acceptance and tolerance for him If you feel that you're lying to him by not telling him she's a lesbian, you can always tell him, but let him know it doesn't affect the way you view her or he friendship at all. Something like "did I tell you that *insert name here* was dating *insert name here*? I hope it works out for her, she's such a good friend!" Just the same way you would talk about her if she was straight! If he doesn't accept your friendship with this lovely woman I think that you and your fiancee need to have a serious talk about you being in charge of your life, not him. I hope it all works out for you! It sounds like you've got a great friendship with this girl, please try not to let anything get in the way of that
Heyyy earlgrey! Thank you sooooo much for responding to my question ) I really do appreciate that! I felt kind of desperate to be honest but your piece of advice gave me some confidence to finally solve my problem and I feel much better now So....I told my fiance that my friend is gay, and as I had thought before, he was, um...not very pleased about the fact that we hang out, but I think he's getting used to that thought and that in the long run it'll be ok. I'm trying to arrange a meeting with a group of friends so that he could see how great person she is and understand that being gey/staright or whaterever, you name it, does not define a person in any way, hope he will be able to look at the world through my eyes a little bit, and I also think that his attitude comes form his own insecurities which makes me really sad, anyway, I'm REALLY happy a huge weight has been lifted off my shouders So, one again A BIG THANK YOU!! Take Care!
