I am gay and have a boyfriend since past 7 months. It is a long distance relationship and we have met only a few times in the past few months. We are deeply in love and even though it is difficult to maintain the long distance relation we are somehow able to manage it. We have been having arguments quite frequently and the main reason for it is that he had identified as straight a few years back and had a girlfriend for about a couple of years. They were deeply in love and were supposed to marry until he thought he is gay and came out to her. I am having insecurities concerning this aspect..even though he trying to explain that he loves me more than her, i start comparing between myself and his previous girlfriend..which is constantly causing rift between us... I somehow feel I don't have any problems with his ex-bfs but with him having an ex girlfriend i start comparing me and her and find that I am no comparison to a girl.. what should I do?? In addition, I sometimes do feel that what will happen if one day he again thinks he is straight and wants a normal life with wife and children..then what will happen??? has anyone ever gone through a similar situation?
My opinion is that you should not compare yourself to his ex girlfriend. Mainly because, well, you're a guy. Besides, you should trust him with the fact that he loves you more. From what you told us it seems like he's still not comfortable with his sexuality. You should support him. If one day he thinks he's straight and decides to have a "normal" life (as you put it), then I guess there's not much you can do. For now, however, you should not worry so much about this and you should take his word for the fact that he loves you more. Also, does he contact his ex frequently? If so, how frequently? What do they talk about? There's a lot to take into consideration. Lots of love, Andy
Even though I've always had attractions to both men and women, I identified as straight up until a few years ago. I struggled with my identity. I am just accepting my bisexual identity. And I know that it is part of who I am; I was never completely straight; I was always bi, but I was just in denial. That is probably what your bf went through. Just because he identified as straight doesn't mean he didn't have attractions to men. He was most likely in denial and is now coming to terms with his gay sexuality. Who knows since this is so new to him, he MAY end up definining his sexuality differently later on. Then again he may not. You guys are happy right now? Try not to worry about what if's. And just trust him. Good luck.
I identified as straight until I met my girlfriend, although for about a year prior I'd been questioning my sexuality and thought that if I fell in love with a girl that would be okay. My girlfriend used to sometimes struggle with the idea that I'd never dated a girl before. We've been together for almost nine months now and I love her more than anyone. If he loves you and wants to be with you, then that's all that really matters.
