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Is my mum homophobic?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Adolpha, Jul 30, 2014.

  1. Adolpha

    Regular Member

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    The thing is, I'm still closeted to my family. Only 2 people know about me. I had a talk to my mum about my 2 BFFs and their sexuality. She would just nod and go off topic. She used to say stuff like: "Gay people can be gay as long as the don't do anything if I'm around". I'm neither straight nor cisgender, so I feel nervous when she says stuff like that. She goes on about how she prayed hard to have a girl (I live in a Christian environment) and I feel somewhat guilty about my sexuality and my gender identity. The other day, I was talking to my mum about one of my clubs, triple jump, and I told her how my couch said that I have the same potential as the boys in the other team, also on how I jump from the boys position and how I have higher scores than some of the boys. I said that I might as well be on the boys team and she got really frustrated and annoyed by it. My mum also says stuff like,"I used to be a tomboy at your age, but I slide out of it. The same with your aunt. Don't worry, this tomboy stage is just a phase" blah blah blah :tantrum: . She turns away if two men or women kiss on tv shows and rubs her arms as if she has goosebumps. What do I do, is my mum homophobic?! :confused:
     
  2. Chiroptera

    Admin Team Full Member

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    Out to everyone
    As much as i'm not a fan of pop, i'll quote Lady Gaga:

    "I'm beautiful in my way
    'cause god makes no mistakes
    I'm on the right track baby
    I was born this way"

    If you are religious, then you will agree with me: God is perfect, and to create someone that he considers a sinner just because the way that person is born makes absolutely no sense. It is perfectly ok to be who you are, and you should not be ashamed or guilty about it. If your mom or the priest of your community fails to understand that, then it is their problem, not yours.

    It isn't just a phase, she apparently doesn't understand the point.

    You may want to wait until you are older to come out, or until you move away, if you think she may not take it really well (apparently, she won't, unfortunatelly).
     
  3. Lyr110

    Regular Member

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    Gender:
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    Gay
    I study religious studies atm, and I'm also gay, and a Christian, although I don't actively attend mass etc. It's just natural for people who are religious to think they have an obligation to oppose homosexuality, and while not all are like that, i.e me, there are extremists who completely oppose all things "unnatural". Don't let religion tie you down and keep you from being something you are. There's only a few things about homosexuality in the Bible, and it's all Old Testament, which was technically fulfilled by Jesus, implying that as a Christian/Catholic, you have no ties to the OT, that's Jewish law. It still exists, but the New Testament is the important thing, and no where does it criticise Homosexual acts/transexual/bigender whatever. Jesus simply said "Love your neighbour as you love yourself".

    Coming off a religious slant - your mum may be homophobic, or she may just not understand homosexuality/transexuality. I don't know an awful lot about bigenders either, but when I came out to my mum, she was a bit taken back, and did talk about religion to me and shit but idc, it's my life. She said she'll love me always, and I told her I felt guilty cause of my sexuality, to which she replied "Don't be stupid". I feel your mum would be somewhat the same. Parents just seem homophobic, but it's all in your head because your so scared of coming out that you focus on everything negative associated with the LGBT community and everything wrong with LGBT, and you don't think about yourself. She isn't homophobic, because if she was she'd outright go against homosexual acts and thrive to stop it, but maybe just isn't very open minded. I find for someone to realise the emotional difficulty of a homosexual, bigender, transexual etc person, they have to have someone close to them experience that, and I believe that by coming out to my mum her viewpoint of homosexuality has changed. Don't be scared of your parents, they love you more than you know :slight_smile:!