Relationship with Foreign Exchange Student

Well, let's look at the options here...

1) you start dating, fall madly in love, and then he has to go back to Brazil, potentially breaking both your hearts. Given that both Brazil and the US recognize same-sex marriage, you could then decide to get married and move to one or the other country or set up some sort of dual citizenship thing or the like. Or decide to move to a third country. Or decide to keep dating, but arrange your lives such that you visit each other in your native countries on a regular basis, in either an open or closed relationship, depending on what the two of you want or decide. A lot might depend on what you both end up doing with your lives and how amenable that is to international transplantation or at least regular travel.

2) you start dating, really like each other, but decide that it's not to the level that you are willing to do all the hoop jumping involved in (1) above. When he goes home, you bid him a fond farewell and go on with your life, but now with a set of happy memories to add to your store of life experience.

3) you start dating and it doesn't work out before his year is up. Or you just never quite get to the dating bit, emotionally. Ignoring any potential emotional stress involved in the 'not working out' bit (which will be a potential in ANY relationship you ever get into with anyone), it's basically no harm, no foul and you go on with your life.

4) you decide to avoid all the potential complications and to just not even try dating. No real immediate emotional stress perhaps (although the heart wants what the heart wants and you may run into a lot of awkward moments in the year if your heart is fighting with your head about being together) but maybe spending a big chunk of the rest of your life wondering about what might have been.

Looking at all the above, I'd suggest that the potential positives of giving it a shot are far more numerous than whatever not even trying gets you.

My 2c worth,

Todd

 

If you think you can handle a long distance relationship, go for it. If you's fall for each other, a bit of distance won't stop you's being together and wanting to be together. Just make sure that you can cope with potential consequences if things don't work long distance.

 

First of all, you should ask yourself if you're willing to be in a LDR. If so, then you should talk to him about the whole topic. Also, you need to be ready for everything, which means possible difficulties of a LDR. I suppose sometimes it could be really hard not to see the your significant one for a really long time. Take your time to think about all cases that might come up with time.

 

I honestly don't think there is an easy way to tell him that. I think the most simple way to tell him would be saying that you aren't ready for a relationship right now. There is a risk of losing the potential for a relationship in the future if you tell him that though. I understand having reservations about public affection, as I have them myself, but I'm curious as to why you feel like you would be interested in a relationship with him later if you are having reservations right now?

 

That is a tough situation, I've had two relationships so far in my life, and they were both LDRs. And I can tell you, it's really hard to make that work. I think the key is being together for a long time before experiencing that kind of distance for an extended amount of time. That's what I think, anyway.

 

Well that is tough. The possibility of a LDR is very probable if things are going well. If that isn't something you want to do, maybe you should just be friends with him. That way you have him in your life, but the loss should be easier. If you really like him and want to give it a shot, then I say go for it though.