I've recently sort-of left my belief in Christianity so I could have free and uninterrupted time to figure myself out. (Gay and Christian don't mesh quite right) Issues: -Everyone thinks I'm a strong Christian, and I don't believe in God anymore -I can't tell people about my situation, because all my family and friends are Christian and they would make a big deal out of it and constantly pester me (I want to be left ALONE to deal with this....the only thing I want to hear from someone would be wishing me luck with my problems and that I'd pick the right thing) -My friends invited me to bible study....that is the last thing I want to do right now I do NOT want to go to the bible study. If I say: -Just No....then they'll think something is up -Basically anything else that isn't genuine they'll assume I just want to get out of it. They've asked athiest/agnostic people before and have mocked the excuses they've made. These friends are good at calling out made-up excuses. And I need an excuse. Ideas? I need something that can be backed up. And remember: Saying religion is ridiculous and atheism is the way to go helps nothing (in my internet experience 50% of my responses I get have been like this) And these ARE my friends. I don't want or need different ones. Their intentions are good.
I highlighted those two parts, because they are important. That said, You pretty much have three choices: - You tell them your situation, and take whatever comes. Hardest. - You just go along with it, grinding your teeth, and deal with it. Easiest. - You make up a good-enough excuse, and don't go. Risky, but Easy. You say you don't want any trouble, so the first one is not an option. This leaves options two and three, so, take your pick. Now, about those highlighted parts. If you continue to appease others, you're not living your life, you're living for others. I would always be thinking about this, because there is going to come a time, when you will have to make a decision about this. Anyone who mocks another, outside of playfulness, isn't exactly someone I'd consider very friendly. It isn't something I'd want in a friend. There is a difference between keeping the peace and being a punching bag. If you need some motivation, about the Bible study, look at it like this. Even if you are taking a break from God, or left him and the church, you can still use this as a learning experience. You'll be confronted with religious dogma, most likely, in your life, so why not be prepared to know and counter it? That's how I tended to get through several of my church youth days, by telling myself that. You most likely want an excuse, though. I suppose, you could always say, you can't make the Bible study, because you're wanting to spend alone time with God. It would also be very hard for them to argue, because, well, who are they to say God isn't speaking to you to do that? It's a lie, of course, and I'm not particularly happy putting it out there, but it is your choice to make. Just remember, if you make up an excuse, the more elaborate it is, the more stressful maintaining the authenticity of it becomes. It can eat you alive.
I would just say that you don't want to go. You don't owe them an explanation. Sometimes just simply saying no without elaborating is the best way.
Have you ever seen Matthew Vines's video on homosexuality? He argues that gay and Christian can mix. Also, if you don't have a legitimate excuse and you really don't want to go, then say you don't want to, no need to lie to them. Or, you can go to one of the Bible studies, and if you don't like it then tell them you didn't like the speaker/didn't agree with xyz/didn't like the atmosphere/etc.
People think the same about me because I continue going regularly to church and appearing very pious. More than a few have asked if I wanted to be a priest because I've always been single. I agree that you should not go. If they press you, tell them about praying behind closed doors and being unseen. Or, just say that you need time to figure things out on your own. Basically, you don't need to go to bible study to be a good force in this world. That would be honest without giving too much away.
You can tell them that you are on a personal journey and don't wish to attend group Bible study. If you need to back it up, you could cite the first verse from Matthew 6... "do not perform your 'religious duties' in public so that people will see what you do." Bible study is a 'religious duty' so the verse seems to fit (if you need it).
Honestly, just say no. No need to say why, or make up an excuse. You need friends who'll respect you and your choices, and if the ones you have won't do so, then you have a problem. Yes, their intentions are good, and I'm not advising you do abandon them. Just enlighten them, even in the smallest way.
So I went to the bible study. We didn't study the bible (we just planned stuff) and I got food out of it. But the group is planning on splitting into two so they need people to lead these groups and I'm supposed to be one of them. I cant lead. I don't offer any religious insight on anything and don't even believe in God anymore. They asked me to pray at the end and I just stuttered and felt weird when I said "Dear God,..." Also, something that made me want to kick a chair: "(My name), we need to get you a girlfriend!" "We should get (crushes name) a girlfriend too!" My crush and I have never had a girlfriend and I'm pretty hopeful that he's gay but... I just wanted to scream when this happened. It flowed and connected way too well.
Yay free food! But sorry they said that. At least they think you would make a good leader! I wouldn't suggest leading a group if it's not in your heart to do so. You can do what others have said.
