But I have no other friends. My best friend just constantly makes me feel awful. I never know what to expect from her, which is okay, but this means constantly walking on eggshells around her, hoping to not offend her, so she in turn won't attack me. She's just really hard to deal with, and she always makes sure her problems are more important than mine. I talked to her about this and she said she wouldn't do it anymore (blow off my problems). Then like, 2 weeks later, I had been having a god awful day, and was telling her and her only response was "We'll, at least you don't feel like I do." I understand that she suffers from depression, but, it's just like, really, is that necessary? I listen to your crap all day (a lot of which she brings upon herself), and don't pass judgement, but I tell you one thing and all you do is tell me how you have it worse. And she wonders why I refuse to tell her any of my secrets. I really don't want to hangout with her anymore, but I have no one else I could turn too. I go to a very small Catholic school where I do not fit in at all. I have lots of aqaitinces, but no actual friends who hang out with me outside of school except her. And it's not like I just can just join clubs and meet new people, blah blah. I tried that. But my school is so fricking small that everyone's friend groups have basically been set in stone since middle school. I'm so lonely. Don't get me wrong, I love her a lot and want the best for her and I want to be her friend so bad. I just don't know what to do. ---------- Post added 1st Aug 2014 at 07:12 PM ---------- And she just takes things way too seriously. Like today she posted a picture of the sky on Instagram and I said something snide about it, because it's all so pretentious (Rude of me, yeah, I know), but we have that sort of sense of humor. She then deleted my comment, so I posted "Does my comment ruin your aesthetic?" As a joke, so she blocked me and now won't respond to my Snapchats.
Well, this sounds bad for several reasons, which I bolded. You can't voice your opinion (since you don't want to offend her resulting in an "attack"), you help her through her problems and she doesn't do the same for you and worst off she constantly makes you feel bad. Correct me if I'm wrong, but the reason you still talk her is because you don't want to be alone? Does she have other friends or are you her only friend also? So it looks like you have three options here: 1) Continue hanging out with her, and continually remind her how you feel about this "friendship". If she doesn't change, then you're stuck constantly feeling bad. 2) Go solo for awhile. I personally would rather be a loner than be around someone you makes you feel bad, just so you're not alone. If your her only friend too, maybe she'll come back a little nicer to you after a while. 3) Remain friends with her, as you try again to make friends with other people. To me, she doesn't sound like a friend at all, but rather just someone to be with. What went wrong with the clubs? My high school had a movie club, a good way to pass a lunch and it doesn't matter that you're alone since you're not suppose to talk during movies. Could you join or start a club like that?
My best friend is like this. She's a wreck most of the time and is often in need of bailing out of some situation. I'm pretty stable in comparison so she does relatively little for me in return. She talks way more than I do but we both find each other's conversation to be a bit boring. We don't have much in common intellectually. She's a brilliant writer and I'm this science nerd. But the amazing thing is we have this chemistry that allows us to communicate without speaking. There's some kind of natural connection we share with each other's moods. I've never even come close to experiencing anything like it with another person. But she's such a strain at times I find myself having to make excuses in order to avoid her constantly taking advantage of my time. That can upset her but she's gotten used to it and I think she understands my need for personal space. Breaking up with your friend seems a bit drastic. Why don't you instead try managing the time she's allowed to talk about herself. You can start by being frank about it. I flat out tell my friend that I'm not her personal concierge and that I find some of her topics really boring and will remind her to not go there. When she's being especially needy and it's getting on my nerves I'll just say, "I need to get going" and she gets the message. It can be unpleasant at times and sometimes I feel like I'm being a jerk but it's a lot better than breaking up. I'm still there for her when something really major comes up. Just keep working at it and I'm sure you will be able to work out a solution that is satisfactory for both of you. :icon_wink
I feel really alone most of the time anyway, because I have no classes with her ever. So I don't like feeling alone all the time in my free time too. Especially because my younger sister is extremely popular, like hanging out with lots of people almost every day this summer. While I've only even hung out with my "best friend" and another girl I know. It just makes me feel that much more lonely and miserable. I find it hard to make new friends. I'm extremely shy, and hate speaking to people I'm not comfortable around because I hate my voice (it's a weird mix of really deep, but also slightly feminine, and it doesn't fit my look at all because I look like a football player type even though I hate sports). And clubs? Ugh, at my school, people only join clubs so they can put it on their college apps. Like I did Model Un for fun this year, and my two partners both made it explicitly clear they had no interest doing it, but thought it would look good for colleges. And they were the only other two people doing it in my grade!!! I'm just hoping I can get into the college I want and meet new people there, at this point. ---------- Post added 2nd Aug 2014 at 12:51 AM ---------- @Monraffe I'm really sorry about your friend. We've had talks like you do before and talked our issues, but it's, ironically, her just talking about how I don't take her problems seriously enough and sometimes make mean jokes. She constantly says what a bad friend I am, and, maybe I am(?). I don't want to break this friendship with her, especially after all the personal stuff we've been through.. We used to date even before I stopped lying to myself that I was gay. I love her so much and care about her deeply, but sometimes I just really hate her.
