1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

I don't think I can ever come out to my father

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by justadream, Aug 2, 2014.

  1. justadream

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2014
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    I told my mom last year that I'm a lesbian. She told me she loves me no matter what, and she hasn't treated me any different.
    My parents are complete opposites though. My mom has always been very loving and supportive. She has never spoken bad about homosexuals. My father is an alcoholic and bipolar as well as an asshole. He makes jokes that aren't funny, they are just twisted and he has very strong opinions against homosexual people.
    Therefore I have not come out to him or anyone on his side of the family. Whenever they ask if I have a boyfriend or I've been dating. I just say that I'm too busy or not interested in that right now.
    I've had this fear that if I came out to my father, he would hurt me or worse, kill me. I know that my father loves me. I also know that I have not said I love you to my father in several years. He says it after every time we talk, but I just say goodbye and get off the phone. I don't feel love toward my father. He's done a lot of horrible stuff and I think he's kind of f'ed up in the head. That's why I feel I can't come out to him or be myself around him. I know he's trying to clean himself up and quit drinking but that doesn't rid him of all the things he's said. He's sick and unfortunately he will never know his daughter. Is that wrong of me? I'm just trying to protect myself but I also feel guilty, because he is my father. He's the only father I've got. It hurts that I can't be honest with him or even love him.
     
  2. Peacemaker

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 14, 2014
    Messages:
    1,201
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Columbus, Georgia
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    no you are not wrong for not wanting to come out to him, if he is like that and if you think he would do harm to you, then you dont have too, its your life