Hi guys, it's been a while since i posted here. I finally gathered up the courage to ask for a chest binder- and my mother said absolutely not. Not being able to bind is having a huge negative impact on my life. ive been self harming more, being more reckless, in general just wishing i werent alive because my body isnt the right way. And she says she doesnt want me to bind, because "its too much like a corset" and "youre going to be deformed when you grow up" i never came out to her, i never had the courage. she got so angry at me for asking and then being upset when i was told no. i dont know what to do anymore. i cant live like this.i ive been binding with duct tape and ace bandages throughout the school year, i know its terrible but i cant deal with looking like a girl. :help:
Maybe have a look for a compression sports bra. If you don't know, they kind of smoosh rather than cup the breasts. Some of them can be quite tight. Depending on your size, this might work while your mom's "in charge". Nike makes them but look around because others might do a better job for you.
yeah i guess i forgot to mention that ive tried the sports bra method multiple times and it never works ig uess im just going back to duct tape and i dont know what the point of this post is i guess i neeeded to vent i dodnt know how to delete posts
Hey, don't use duct tape. No ace bandages either. Despite what your mother says, those are things that will hurt you, not a properly fitted binder. You should show her that there are medical grade binders used for gynecomastia and for post-surgical recovery. Underworks is the place I always recommend showing to parents who are concerned. If you can come to this discussion with her as calmly and well rehearsed and well-read as possible, it shows that you're responsible and she might change her mind about letting you do this. Show her that you know how to measure yourself for this, that you understand the restrictions on wearing it (not for more than 8 hours a day, work your way up to that amount of time, not when you're working out, take it off if you feel dizzy or in any kind of pain, etc), the sizing and everything that you need to know. You probably already know a lot about binding and how to do it well and safely, she probably doesn't know anything at all about it--that's why she jumped to the conclusion that it's not safe. Bring some materials explaining the need to bind as well as how to do it, if you can find some good ones. If you can come back to her with some real info at your back and try to discuss it in a way that shows you've thought this all through, she'll probably listen. Hang in there, I know this is tough (*hug*)
im not 'out' to her thhough, and i dont think im safe enough to do that so she would brush it off because i couldnt tell her a reason i have terrible anxiety issues and talking is extremely hard to me, i considered writing out a list and reading from it but later when i mentioned the binder again she got very angry (screaming angry) and didnt want to hear a thing i said
Hmm. I wonder if there are any directions out there for making your own. Maybe on instructables.com or elsewhere? You probably have to know a bit of sewing and might have to hand wash it but ... it can't hurt to look, right?
I totally agree with thedreamwatch. Please don't use duct tape or ace bandages, you might hurt yourself. You should try to buy a medical binder. That would be the best option. Otherwise you can also continue to try to use the sports compression bras and try to be satisfied with that. You can always do what you want when your older. Just be patient. Please don't hurt yourself.
Did a quick search and found what might be helpful. How to Bind Your Chest: 10 Steps (with Pictures) - wikiHow
What about layering a couple compression tops? They won't have that bottom band that pushes your chest up. Does she know you self-harm? Maybe you could link her to some articles about mental health and binding.
The link I found above actually suggests wearing two like you say but put the second one on backwards. And staggering the bottom edges, I think.
thank you guys for all the tips !! i told my therapist (who is experienced in gender issues) about how important this was and how badly it's affecting my mental health, and he's going to help me come out to her, today ! i'm very nervous but excited because this will hopefully make lots of things a little easier! thank you !! (&&&)
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