So its been awhile since i was last on the forum and a lot of things have changed in my life. But to stay particular and focus on the situation I addressed in my previous threads, my love issue, I'd like to say that I am NOT over the boy im in love with. And things have gotten worse. First of all, my 'crush' and my best friend broke up a couple weeks after they got together. I had installed a diary app on my iPod and used that to express my feelings so I havent been using the forum as a way to release my inner thoughts but the app stopped working properly a couple months ago but by that time the guy i love or 'crush' (what we called him in a previous thread) was out of my life. He moved to a different city, changed schools and i had no connections with him anymore. That said, recently i got a new job but before i actually got the job, i went in for an interview and guess who worked there. Yes. my 'crush'. So when I got the job I ended up working with him a lot and we ended up becoming friends again, sort of. This is where my problem begins. I have my license and a car to drive, he doesnt have either. Ive been driving him home a lot which I dont mind because its not out of the way but on two occasions he asked me to take him certain places and Im fine with it. But I've been trying to make time for us to hang out and maybe rebuild our friendship so I can tell him something important (I'll explain) but he's very hesitant unless he's getting something out of me, like the two occasions i mentioned. So the problem is I dont think he's actually interested in becoming friends again, I have a bad feeling he might just be using me. So I would like some opinions on that and what i should do about it. Now there might be a little party at my house, hosted by my brother and hes allowing me to invite friends. Before I became suspicious of his motives, I immediately invited him the night i knew about this possible party. If you've read my previous threads you might understand my eagerness. My plan was to possibly tell him how I feel, in a subtle manner but now that I have this idea in my head of him using me Im not sure telling him so soon would be the wisest move. This is my second problem and I would appreciate advice. Again reading my previous threads would help a lot with understanding my feelings but Ive waited so long to tell him and now I dont really have the same need to tell him. And its not necessarily because of my suspicions but I just dont have the same fire in my heart anymore. I think I could be getting over him but now that he's become a constant in my life Im afraid I'll fall back into that dreadful place of obsession and infatuation. That is my third problem. I didnt go as deep into detail in this thread but I hope I've explained enough. Please feel free to comment on any one of my three problems or all it doesnt matter. I would just lover some serious advice though. :icon_bigg
I don't think that telling him during the party would be a good idea. You want to do that when you are alone and somewhere calm. You should try to tell him only when you are really sure about it. You may want to get to know him better during the party. As for your problem, I don't think you really have such a big issue at hand. Well, for one, you work with someone whom you "might" be interested in. You should explore your feelings for a while. Try to find people to go out with. If you find yourself constantly thinking about him, then perhaps you are. If you believe you really like him, then try to get together with him, go somewhere together. If he comes along, then try to became familiar with him. If he hesitates, then he may not be interested in you as such. Take it easy. No need to rush. This would be my opinion on your matter, but of course you shall think about it and make the decisions which you are comfortable with. Good luck.
Maybe you dont understand, i proobably didnt explain properly. But I've known him for years already, we were once close friends and Im undoubtedly in love with him. And the party is more of a get together, it'll be outside at night, a bonfire party if you will and we'll be more seperated, distant from the other guests. Reading my other threads might help you understand better.
Oh! That makes things so much easier. Well, if you have been best friends for a while now and like you said you undoubtedly love him, I'd say go for it! tell him how you feel and hope for the best.
I'd like to echo the previous poster's sentiment that you shouldn't try to talk to him about this during a party, even if it's a small, low-key one. I know if it were me I'd rather discuss such personal things privately, and regardless of what happens I'm sure you won't want to wonder if his response is influenced by having other people around, even if they can't hear you. With that said, I don't know if this is even a conversation that's necessary to have. He clearly knows that you're attracted to him (based on your previous threads) and hasn't really shown any signs of wanting to pursue that avenue. At the same time, he obviously doesn't hate you or anything either, but maybe doesn't see the potential for the type of close relationship you're looking for. I suggest that you keep doing what you're doing by trying to help him out with a ride when needed and just make yourself available. If he wants to be more friends than co-workers I'm sure he'll make that move. Otherwise, you said it seems like you might be starting to move on from him so try not to get your hopes revved back up and just accept whatever happens.
I totally agree. Yesterday he mentioned to me that he had a "bae" (slang for before anyone else) which means he's found someone he's interested in. And oddly Im happy for him but this was definitely a reality check and Im not even going to attempt trying to tell him. I think it's two years too late for that and I need to accept this fact. So Im prepared to do my best to move on, but I think giving myself some space from him would be best, I'll still give him rides when he needs it like you said but I think Im just gonna blow off the whole party thing and tell him there was a change in plans. If he wants to be friends thats cool but I dont think getting close like we once were would help anything. Im just going to try and be the reliable pal and nothing more, I dont want to fall for him more by being around him any more than I have to. Thanks for the advice and if anything else happens I'll be sure to let you guys know.
Sometimes the best way to get over a crush is to divert our attentions to someone who can/will reciprocate. I know that sounds easy and it's hard to believe when you are carrying a load of feelings for a crush, but it does actually work. Hope you are able to move forward.
