Telling your parents about self harm

Try to help them understand what you're going through, how you feel and why you feel like hurting yourself. You're going to have to be prepared for questions, because this is obviously going to be something that's difficult for them to understand. If they get mad, they're probably just concerned because they care about you. But don't worry, after they begin to understand what you're doing, they'll be supportive and help you overcome it. Yu can also ask your therapist to help you and give you advice on telling them.

You can start the conversation by saying, "Mom/dad, there's something I've been struggling with lately that I want to tell you about..." Let them know that you're looking for their help, support and acceptance.

 

I have no advice about how to bring this up to your parents. But for sure talk to them about it and get help. Depression sucks. I hope you get through this. Good luck! Much love!

 

A good way to start off the conversation is to only have you and your parents (or whomever else you wish to tell) in the room and make sure everyone's call and not arguing about the taxes or something. It wouldn't be a good idea to show them your scars right because that's kind of a scary thing at first. I'd only show if they asked to see. Tell them why you've been so stressed out and why you started in the first place. There will be questions so be prepared and answer them honestly. If there's one you don't feel like talking about that's particularly bad then say that you'd like to wait a little while before telling them. Make sure to point out that you really want to stop (if that is indeed your intention).
I apologize if this wasn't very helpful. In all honesty I'm working on talking to mine myself. Chin up buttercup, you're going to be just fine <3

 

I wouldn't tell them. It's none of their buisness, anyway.

 

You should tell your parents because then they will be able to help you out and give you support.
I have been suffering from depression and obesity. I have younger siblings who are skinny. They eat a lot and bring home pizza, mcdonalds etc. I end up eating a lot because of them too in addition to what I eat on my own. But ever since I have told them about my issue, they try not to bring food home so that I wouldn't end up overeating. They have also helped me out with exercise sometimes. So, I'm glad that I told them because they are supporting me.
Your issue is different but believe me you will get a lot of support by telling your parents. Your parents could also meet up with the therapist and get educated about ways to reduce cutting like holding on to ice etc so that they could help you when in need. Remember, your parents love you. If you are unable to tell them on your own, you might want to talk to your therapist about bringing them in so that your therapist could help you explain it.

 

Why would they get mad? They will probably be upset, maybe yell a bit, it is NOT because they are mad. It is because they are SCARED. It may be because they are hurt and feel like failures, or feel they let you down so that you feel you have to cut. They will be confused as well, but tell them you need help. Parents who love their children will help when asked. Just my feelings as a parent myself.

 

i didnt tell mine cause i stopped long time ago but its been two years and they didnt go away yet too bad
make sure you stopped and never going back again its good to tell them at least you wont have to hide like i do and the cat wont be the cause like i say everytime someone look at my arms

 

It's important that your parents understand that self harm has been a coping mechanism while you have been depressed. Although they may view it in a negative light, it has, in fact helped to keep you going when things seemed very black and desperate. Many people who self harm may not be alive without it as a coping mechanism (that's not to say it's a good mechanism, but it is what it is).

Does it alter the gravity of what you have been doing if you substitute the term self harm for self injury? To some people it lessens the severity.

If you intend to tell you parents, try to gather some information/leaflets from reputable organisations that help/support people who struggle with self harm. You can leave these with your parents to read, to help them understand. Maybe your therapist can help with this?

It's worth remembering that many things can be construed as self harmful - it's just a matter of perspective. Binging on alcohol or food could be seen as self harm (although we tend to give it a different term) and many other things besides. Cutting is perhaps the most extreme end of the spectrum, but it doesn't make it any worse or better.

Hope you keep moving forward and find yourself in a stronger place.

 

I used to self harm too and my mom found out about it when she walked into my room and saw me in my underwear (I wore briefs then and used to cut myself mainly on my thighs/hips) and saw my cuts. She was so mad right when she found out. She was mad at me for not telling her and mad at herself for not knowing something was up with me. I know she was upset and worried really but it came out as anger. She told me that she wished I'd told her that I was hurting myself so that I could have gotten help sooner.

So yeah I think it's important that you do tell your parents. Rather do it yourself than having them finding that out by accident. other than that I think you should tell them basically what Mariaaa suggested. And like Linco said, I think it's important that you make them realize that self harming is a coping mechanism and nothing else.

Good luck!

 

Worst advice EVER.... Really, such stupidness

 

I never communicated my inner pain much to my regret, didnt tell a soul till 40 years in age, lol came out gay at the same time, have settled on " bi now gay later", i do have 4 kids to think of also... Complicated, thought had it all sorted, pha!. Always hid, even now, scars from 25 years ago, have to hide , might tattoo, restarted recently, but have conquered it again.. Good luck

 

I recently told my parents about to my self-harming, mostly because I was tired of being a slave to the pain, and also because I'm tired of walking around with an invisible weight.
I'll spare you the details of why I started hurting myself, because I have a feeling it'll be nothing new to this sight, so lemme just tell you what went down.
I turned to cutting during an extremely dark time in my life, after my parents basically started force feeding me (normally I reserve my ascetic tendencies to my diet). My mom asked me one day why I always grimaced when somebody touched my shoulder (where I always cut), and decided to show her. This wasn't easy in the slightest, because much of the pain I was dealing with had to do with being recently out to them and living with my parents (strict southern baptists). At first it really sucked, they reacted badly; threatened to have me institutionalized.
I managed to convince them to give me a couple days (under there strict supervision obviously, why I would tell them with the intention of continuing this idk) mostly because they were scared of me talking about them, but also because I told them of my own volition. I voluntarily gave them my knife and razor. After 3 days of normal life, they seemed to forget about it. They still haven't given me my razor back yet, so neckbeards abound .
Sometimes I regret being honest with them, especially now that I'm going through an awful breakup. But I'm starting to realize that pain is a price we pay for things we need, and strength is the currency with which we pay. I am still not ashamed of the scars on my arm, but sometimes I wish I still had my knife. The pain doesn't ever go away, you just find other ways to deal with it. Scars are a testament to you making it: they are badges of your strength. Make sure your parents understand that.

Know that they will freak out, and they may very well say things that hurt you. Steel yourself for this, because honesty is worth it, especially to people who care about you. Be patient with them, also. You've been adjusted to your pain for awhile, but they haven't. Also, be careful about what you say while explaining it all to them. If you are still a minor (I told them on my 18th birthday), they can basically do anything they want to "help" you.

Good luck, and be well my friend <3