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*Friendship Rant

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Budweiser, Aug 7, 2014.

  1. Budweiser

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    I know girls can be friends with guys, I'm wondering if guys can be friends with girls!

    I'm just frustrated that I've had to drop 4, FOUR guy friends in the last couple years just because they all decided they wanted to bone me. Even out lesbians have trouble with guy friends like this, or so I saw on here.

    Let me put it this way, I was in a building maintenance program and farted in a guy's face (we were being crazy that day, I was just one of the guys, lol) and later on he STILL thought he fell in love with me. Seriously, why?

    Are men really this naturally desperate to get laid or is it a conditioning thing? god, no wonder I wanna be gay.

    I've been ranting about men and talking about being lonely a lot lately, part of me is just so angry that I had to lose 4 good buddies because of sex drive. I'd wonder if it were something I'm doing, but I can't even SMILE without that being "doing something" so unless I go out in full drag (with a beard and everything) I don't see how being alive can stop being an invitation.

    I think a lot of guys believe that if they're nice for long enough the girl will have sex with them. Then they get frustrated and confused when she doesn't (the guy always gets the girl at the end of every movie, book, comic, video game, right?) They may not be doing this maliciously at all, but jeez, do a little soul searching, you're not an animal.

    I don't wanna hear that I'm your "dream girl" less than a month after we meet, or reconnect after a while, or whatever the next inevitable case will be. Sheesh. (I now hate the words 'dream girl' with a passion).

    I don't OWE YOU A DATE either. At all. Nobody owes you shit in this world, ESPECIALLY that.

    They act like I'm not allowed to not be into them, or to not want to have sex with them. When I tell them the truth of how I feel, they say, "how could you do this to me?" honestly, I've been scared a few times. Not scared of being stalked or attacked in my situations or anything... just, I'm not sure, but it was definitely fear. Like, FEAR I don't know, I no longer have contact that's all I know now.


    I'm not a man hater and I don't want to be sexist, I just wish the sex thing didn't have to ruin friendships.

    I feel like a typical guy sometimes. When I see the friendship is going downhill due to attraction on his part, I'll tell him I'm not into him but I'll be friends with benefits. Then maybe he won't see me as a love interest because look, she just bangs! This can't lead anywhere. At least if a guy only expressed interest in just banging me I wouldn't think it would lead to a love interest at all. then he starts wanting all that emotional shit anyway and I"m like.. I just wanted to bang.. bye!!! I thought it was suppose to be the other way around for guys and girls? Ha! Just shows more how you can't stereotype genders and sex.

    I miss my friends.
     
  2. Kai LD

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    I am supposed to do a group presentation on the importance of sex (boning) in terms of male and female relationships for my physical anthropology class. Interesting to see this topic. So far from study men seem to be somewhat more hard wired to want sex, will definitely say that. Speaking from the studies of brain and behavior men apparently generally are more constantly aware of sex/sexuality and possibly feel a larger affective 'need' for sexual release. So there's that.

    Have had a problem in the reverse of a girl literally (in the proper sense of this word) going out of her way to tell me she is attracted to me, is flirting with me, is in an open relationship, and then have her act like the 'wanting sex' part was all on me when it inevitably went south. One of the worst events etc in my life overall, but I did have a tiny amount of fun. Not much though.

    Ordinarily even if I am aware of the sex factor in friends, this influences me usually away and not towards those who I am very attracted to on only a physical level. Because knowing me it would amount to nothing but unhappiness/frustration. Definitely experienced that 'she is trouble' vibe with this girl but couldn't keep away once she dropped the initial hook. I got hooked hard.

    Anyways I found your post interesting. Thanks.
     
  3. Budweiser

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    Ha, I figured this post would make people angry. It was just a rant, though.

    So in your professional opinion since you're in class, can boys be friends with girls? I already know girls can be friends with boys.
     
  4. Tardis221B

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    I'm sorry you've lost some of your guy friends. (*hug*) I've haven't personally experienced this (yet), but part of me is worried that I might lead on my guy friends. This probably roots from the stereotype, and sometimes truth, that men are more likely to perceive friendliness as attraction.

    As for guys being friends with girls, I think they can be perfectly good friends. My best guy friend, is my friend and I think he sees me as simply as a friend too, I hope. Maybe try setting them up with other girls, so that they aren't thinking of you in that way? Just a thought.
     
  5. Kai LD

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    My professional opinion is: TL;DR

    Fact is that we can only talk broad generalizations on many of the points I've learned about brain function, neurochemistry, cultural adaptation, socialization... It ends up being individual, every time. Even baboons have individual baboon personalities. They don't respond identically emotionally. Too complicated.

    Sort of? Sometimes? Depends on who and who? :eusa_doh:

    I've had female friends that were only friends, and then others that, maybe, I would want to bone. But probably not since I'd be boning someone's wife I know or a friend's sister, and I am not that into those girls that I'd hurt these people and trample any ethical bounds just to get some satisfaction. Even the individual 'need' for sex varies from person to person.

    On the other hand I found myself sucked into a open relationship thing for a while that I 'knew' was ridiculous but I just could not say no to the girl. Totally went brain-dead by her smell. Pheromones I assume.
     
    #5 Kai LD, Aug 7, 2014
    Last edited: Aug 7, 2014
  6. scub

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    funny because i had to distance myself from several girls in the past that wanted a relationship with me, i don't hit on girls, but they hit on me.. it's not only a guy thing, it goes both ways..
     
  7. RAdam

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    A lot of guys have social pressure to try it with their female friends. A guy with too many female friends is often looked upon as less masculine and mostly gay. Another thing could be that you're just ragingly attractive and they can't help themselves. I know a lot of guys who have female friendships but those girls are dating one of their friends most of the time and/or have known them for too long to be sexually attractive to each other. You get that brother/sister effect after a while. But i'd say it's mostly the social pressure that makes guys act like that.
     
  8. Budweiser

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    Yeah, none of this is true on an individual level, I've just been unlucky with the individuals I've gotten to know I guess. What's TL;DR?

    ---------- Post added 8th Aug 2014 at 01:08 AM ----------

    Playing match maker would be fun! lolol I so wanna do that now.

    ---------- Post added 8th Aug 2014 at 01:09 AM ----------

    Yeah, there are horny girls just like there are horny guys. I wish they would go away with each other and leave the rest of us alone.

    *the rest of us have sexual needs, but don't need them fulfilled on any level in every person of the our preferred gender we meet!

    ---------- Post added 8th Aug 2014 at 01:16 AM ----------

    Men seem to have created a very narrow margin of existence for themselves. Women are not concerned with all of the "manly" things they are so worried about. Like not crying, having to throw things really really hard, wearing only boring cloths, penis size and I don't know what else. I don't know about gay guys, but women do not care about that stuff.

    Of course this is all talking generally.
     
  9. Kai LD

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    I absolutely hate the gender roles that I feel like I am expected to follow by society. Trying to develop more courage to be myself more, as I figure out what that is. I would love to live in a world where people don't think "weak" when they see a man cry, that kind of thing. Well, I have been brave enough when I needed to cry to do it in public (tears running down face anyways) but I felt like everybody was embarrassed on my behalf. Guys and girls both. My perception probably.