Hi all, I'm typically a loner who doesn't like large groups and if necessary prefers one-on-one conversations. Recently I've made friends online and even met my boyfriend there. But in some ways I still feel lonely because I can't do much but type or cam with these people. Other than close family members I don't have any physical friends; No one to go out with or even talk about gay stuff with. So basically I'm asking all of you, how important are physical friends? As a person who only has my online buddies, am I missing an experience that can only be felt with physical people.
in my situation, my physical friends helped out me out alot with my current issues but online friends can help you with stuff that you dont wanna say out loud
well its really boring to stay talking to a screen all day and tiring too i wish i had more friends but i moved to a new town most of my friends are jerks who dont really like queens like me most people around me are like this so i have a very little luck to make good friends hanging out with friends is way better than online you will be missing some stuff for me i have tons of online of friends i need some in real life cause i never know when those online people forget about me and get on with their life as so many have already did anyway
Thanks for the quick responses. Sometimes I think physical "friends" are hard to keep too. At least when you're online you know they might be busy with their life. From my experience the people I knew in class or clubs were friendly there, but outside they didn't care much about me. So i was just the guy to talk to in class but no where else was I welcomed. I guess that's why I've developed a stringent definition on the word "friend". I mean a friend is not a person you hung out with for a few months and ditch afterwards.
I have a few friends in real life. I'd say maybe 6-7 people. That's it. After high school, my social dwindled and wanted to have friendships based on quality, not quantity. Most of my physical friends are really busy and thus, I can only see them once in a while. I have several online friends. I do because of mutual interests. They helped me learn their language in exchange for English (I personally love teaching non-natives English), because I need gay friends and a place, such as this forum, to be my true self, and the latter.
ehh i got few friends in real life. every time i make the effort to talk to them, they just don't respond back. i feel that i picked up that bad habit for myself and towards other people and that's not really a great thing to have. i rarely see anyone of my friends, even since high school, so it'd be like a run into the street kind of miracle for that to happen. i got several online friends as well, they've been pretty awesome!
i think it's good to keep a good balance. i guess i'm lucky in that i'm pretty social and try to be in any situation but honestly if it's bothering you i think it's time to go out and try it. it's always good to try new things! at least if it doesn't work out you'll have more stuff to talk to you online buddies about!
I definitely prefer real friends. I used to have online friends when I was younger and couldn't fit in, but only one of them is still my friend. Yes, I would definitely say that you are losing something, but you know, some people are introverted, you might feel a completely different way I'm personally very extroverted but what works for me may not be the case for you.
Hm.. I'm quite a social person, but I also grew up on a very isolate arm. I always drastically missed contact with people "in the flesh", it was really hard in my mid teens esp. My online friends were absolutely important to me and helped mak that so much easier to bear then. Then again, I moved to the other side of the world a year ago and joined a soccer team almostbstraight away and gradually made a lot of friends and some really amazing close ones. However, as it i with online friends, I did get to take them with me and in the past year I've managed to meet some of them, even went on a month long roadtrip with my best friend, now online AND physical And I've ranted to both 'types' of friends. I find it easier to outline my worries and fears or whatever issuues are bothering me, in writing - aka to my online friends. I don't forget anything and can properly pour my heart out to them, and they get to have tim to think before typing, thus giving me the best opinions and words of advice ever. And I'm so thankful for that. On the other hand, I get to completely break down, cry, and get hugged and held by my closest physical friends. And not just that, having them around, playing, hanging out, having them next to me....maybe I can't outline everything so coherently to them, but their actual physical presence is amazing on so many levels. To me, it's definitely an experience I don't think I could live without anymore. In conclusion - Both "types" of friends are ridiculously important to me. Ideally, I wanna meet my online friends once in a while, but over the years I really have had the chance to treasur them for what they're worth. There's a couple who literally saved me. Then also my 'reallife' friends have become just as crucial to my life. They add to my purpose, and make everything fun. So I guess both can be as important - depending on your situation I guess. I like to have a healthy mix of friends from all kinds of places, but i do need some of them in my immediate surroundings, no question. Hope that made sense xD great question/topic! and exuse the spelling errors, im on my phone. xx
I definitely prefer friends that I can physically see in real life. I keep in contact with all of my friends, but some more than others. I think that both online and real-life friends have their bonuses and their downsides. For instance, it's not as difficult to bring up a topic that you've been worrying about with an online friend. Bringing up very emotional topics with friends in real-life can be a lot more difficult, because the person you're talking to has to quickly come up with a response to what you're saying. People online have time to think about it, and type it. Also, when meeting new friends, if you don't really 100% trust them, you can't be sure that they won't accidentally let a few things slip about your conversations, thus messing up your relationships with other people. That worry is definitely smaller with online friends. However, there's something to be said about physically seeing someone. It's a lot nicer (in my opinion, anyways) to go out to the movies with a friend rather than going alone, and it's a lot nicer going out to dinner with a friend to talk to rather than going alone. Real-life friends can also just hang out and watch movies with you. I guess the point is that they provide company when you need it.
Sometimes having online friends there for you can be important for when you want to get something off your chest that's too embarrassing to have to talk to someone face to face with.
It's a little comforting to know I'm not the only one in this boat. First I'll give my take on your question, dman89. I personally would really value having real life friends. My lack of them can be hard to deal with at times. I think whether people can cope without out them or not is completely dependent on the individual. I have people online I definitely consider friends. the only person I've come out to is someone I've known online for quite some years now. I met most of my online friends through games. I've managed to hold on to most of my online friends even when either he/she has actually quit the games we met on. I don't feel I have any *real* offline friends at all (depending how you define it I guess). I have one or two people who I have text conversations with sometimes, but no more than that. I do and have tried to make an effort to get out and do things with them + others, but I always get turned away or very occasionally late cancellations with poor reasons to explain it. I cannot put my finger on what I do different online compared with offline. I'm pretty self conscious about my physical appearance and personally I don't find it hard to believe that maybe one of the causes...
big appreciation for all your responses. I have to say I value all your opinions. I actually recently talked to my bf about it, whom if I've not mentioned it yet I met online and leaves thousands of miles away from me. It's a difficult setup but we do our best to keep our relationship alive and fresh. anyhow, I was telling him about my issue of having no real friends to hang out with. He understands my pain and he tried to assure me that things will get better for me in the future. But I guess i still have this small sad feeling that even though i have friends online, i can't touch them in real life. Like when i finally make friends, I can't necessarily "hangout" with them unless i'm in front of a screen. Oh well. I guess i'll have to take it one day at a time.
