Hi, I have a very difficult time. I'm in love with a friend for 4 years and he's straight. He has a girl friend who i don't like and i think she doesn't deserve his pure heart. Two years ago i told him that i'm in love with him. He took it very well and never complained about anything, he's very understanding. We live in to different places in the world and i see him once a year. And every year the feelings and emotions are stronger and he is very attached to me and i'm to him. Now he is leaving with some friends for four weeks which means that when he returns i'm back at home 1000 miles away. Yesterday was the last time i saw him and we said goodbye with tears in our eyes. He's a very handsome gorgeous masculine and muscular guy with the most amazing personality. We write to each other and he wrote that he "Adores me and he will always be there for me when every i need him" That brings tears to my eyes. My love is huge for that guy and not a day goes by without thinking of him. I have tried to date another guys that reminds me of him but it keeps going back to him. I cannot live my life without him I'm drowning in this love. He was my first real crush and probably the last. How can i deal with such a thing. It's so hard, my mind is overload with thoughts about him. It's so hard, i cry a lot these days. Please help what can I do? cause i'm really dying inside.
Personally, yes these topics are difficult only because they are matters of the heart, and the advice I give may not be helpful; but I will try. You said he knows that you like him already. But I think you should try telling him how much he means to you, *he may or may not reciprocate the feelings* but I believe that if you tell him how much you love him it may make things easier for you; just to have that out there. If you aren't comfortable in telling him, perhaps you should try to shift your thoughts to other things when you start to think of him. I know what its like to LIKE someone so much but you can't really have them. It hurts, its painful, and you just want them to like you back. But what I always helpful was to tell them, if they didn't like me like that, I would cherish the friendship because I would rather have them as a friend then not have them in my life….. I hope that was somewhat helpful.
Thanx for Your advice. I think he already knows how I feel about him. I just can't stand having him around cause I lose my mind. Maybe it's better to let the friendship go and let the wounds heal over along period of time. My heart is bursting and I know that his will to when I tell him that I no longer can see him. But i hope he can understand me and why i'm doing it. This will be hard for both of us.
