SO theres this special man in my life who i can tell anything to since i first met him. He this man is my bestfriend. I first asked him out to prom and he rejected me saying he had a big project he had to work on. I was heart broken. Later he ended out being my go to man about all my relationship drama. he was in a deep deep friendzone! He probably knows more about me than myself and he told me he loved me. I didnt really think much of it i thought it was a friendly i love u. years passed and we remained friends. Until, last year when I opened up again about my feelings! We were both afraid but our feeling were strong so we jumpped in and started dating. His feelings grew stronger and I began to worry about our future. He was my best friend and i knew i couldnt hurt him... I love him sooo much but i have always wanted a family in the future and he doesnt want any children and def will never change his mind. This was something we both were concerned about before moving forward with our relationship. We decided not to think about this and just do what feels right now. Ofcourse this later bit me in the ass because i couldnt stop thinking about it! So I broke up with my best friend and i felt horrible about it. But I met someone else we have been together for over a year now and i love the guy he is amazing i could see myself spending my life with him and he wants a family. The only thing is its long distance and i dont get to see him. That leaves room for me and bestie to hang. And i cant help but find him adorable. also maybe hell never admit it but he tells me how great i am i know he misses me and i really hurt him. i know he still loves me and a part of me still loves him. I dont want to hurt him again so i pretend i dont know and everything is cool as being besties but i want to tell him i miss hugging him ... i miss being able to tell him anything but at the same time i dont want to be in a relationship, just closer to him. I love the long distance guy I want to marry him one day. We talk every day and he understands the part of me that my bestie doesnt that noone gets . Its almost like they both understand a half of me. they both love me and i love both of them. one has the same goals as me so im with him...but gahhhh im going crazy not telling my bestfriend my feelings ............... am i doing the right thing? Should we talk openly about are breakup?:icon_sad:
