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Boyfriend's Mom

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by GabiRay, Aug 18, 2014.

  1. GabiRay

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    Here's some background: When I met my boyfriend he still lived with his mom. We began dating and his mom had a hissy fit. I'm a girl, and yet, his mom had a reaction that homophobic parents have when their child dates someone of the same gender. She told him that he had two choices, date me and be kicked out of the house, or dump me and continue living at home. Well, this was a little over two years ago so you can guess the choice he made. His parents told him he'd have to pack up all his stuff or it would be thrown away within a week. His mother continued her tantrums and guilt tripped him when ever possible. Eventually(took more than a year) she and the rest of the family were forced to realize that I'm not going away and therefore stopped constantly guilt tripping him, but they still complain about various things(mostly about me). Now remember, his crime is dating a girl, most of society views this as normal and part of growing up but his mom has this over-reactive empty nest reaction where she thinks she's abandoned. They hated me before they met me, before they heard of me. They may dislike me as an individual, but they hate me as a symbol. Well, because of her behavior obviously the mother-son relationship has been damaged and he is not fully comfortable hanging out with his family, but but we do attend family events.

    Now, lets fast forward to a few months ago: His mom did some snooping on her younger son's computer and found out the 16 year old had a boyfriend. We gave the boy our full support of course, which pissed off his mom. Well, in order to fully support his brother and also to be more open about himself my boyfriend has publicly come out as bisexual. His family gave him the silent treatment. Nothing positive. nothing negative. nothing at all. They simply made sure what he was saying, was what he was saying, then silence for several months. Then two days ago, finally, his mother sent him some text messages, heavy with guilt tripping about how HE was the one ignoring her. She asked why he hadn't attended the most recent family event(that he wasn't told about) he feels like an orphan. Its easy for me to say "screw 'em, they are selfish morons" but I know, after all, they ARE his family.

    Does anyone have any advice for this situation?
     
  2. Nychthemeron

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    I loathe to be so blatant, but sometimes, family members aren't the pretty, glittery image of happiness everyone makes them out to be.

    You mentioned that they finally accepted you - although why they shunned you at first, I have no idea. In any case, that guy's still their kid. Both of them are. They'll learn to accept it eventually. They have to.

    He can also consider talking it out with his family. And when I say talking it out, I really mean talking it out. Don't let them get off topic or distracted.

    Good luck, you two. (*hug*)