He says he accepts me for who I am, but he says a lot of really ignorant things sometimes, especially when he says "I'm okay with this whole "gay thing" but..." and then says something like "You can't date a butch girl" or "there are no cute lesbians, they all look like men and you don't like men so why would you want that?" I love my dad but I don't know how to react when he says things like that.
It's not easy for a father to understand that his child loves other people of the same gender. Don't keep on searching for a problem when there is no problem. A lot of teenagers suffer way bigger problems than parents saying "ignorant things" from time to time. Talk to him, but do not yell (it never helps) and just give him some time, he wasn't born in the times where being LGBT was considered something normal by that many people. He will get over it eventually.
My mom talks a lot of shit and, my dad doesn't talk about it at all. I accept both of their responses because, this is affecting them as much as it is affecting me. I love them so, I let them deal with it however they want. They both still love me and support me so, I can't complain. Maybe, just give it time. I was out to them for a year as pansexual, then a year as a lesbian. In the two years I have been out of the closet, I have seen a change in the way my parents deal with the topic of my sexuality, they slowly become more comfortable with me being a lesbian. Like I said, give it time. It will all be okay.
Well, I don't think people are necessarily born gay, genetics probably plays a large role but upbringing also matters, but sexual orientation and identity are apparently cemented around age 5. However, that really doesn't matter one but, nor does it give the slightest reason for anyone to think any different of gays. Explain to your dad that who you're attracted to doesn't have to make sense, and certainly doesn't depend on who he finds cute.
Those really are ignorant things to say. Hopefully he will understand with time...maybe it would help if you corrected him each time he says something stupid. Or just tell him that it hurts or makes you uncomfortable.
Why do straight people always think they are experts in the topic of lgbt people. Hell I have been around here for a couple weeks and I am still confused. (I really need to start making a list of all the different kind of awesome people out there ) good luck. I know this. May be hard and probably more detrimental than good but have you ever "called him out" on one of these statements. I am not saying like a full out argument but mabye something to constitute a real thought with Both of you involved?
I never can understand how people think, really, that whether or not it is a birth thing matters. Does it hurt others? You have to be pretty durr closeminded to think that people loving each other is bad.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Unfortunately a lot of people feel as though they have to voice their opinions, even when they aren't wanted. The problem here is that your father just doesn't understand. As mrGhost said he's from a different generation which thought that being anything other than straight was unthinkable and wrong. He's not doing it on purpose, but explain to him calmly how it's hurting you. If he's open to the idea, get him to register with EC. Let him know that there's an area where he can post his questions to be able to better understand and hopefully learn that what might seem like an innocent comment to him, can actually be rather insulting and hurtful.
Tell your dad he's talking complete nonsense, and show him some pictures of feminine lesbian celebrities to prove him wrong about not all lesbians being butch. In relation to him not thinking you were born gay, ask him if he thinks he was born straight.
