Hate my dad..religious nutcase with anger issues

Well. My father punched me in my face when he found out that some kids bullied me in the secondary school. I was 14. My best friend's father slapped her in front of me when we were leaving for a party because (he actually said that) "she looked like a slut", and then he gave her 100 bucks and a hug. Both me and my best friend had more situations like these, just so you know - it happens everywhere. If you can't afford living alone, then you just have to wait for the day when you'll be able to do so. Trust me, it's worth waiting, so hang in there, it gets better. And in the meantime, you can always come here and talk about how you feel. I'm sure that you will always find someone to hear you out.

 

God damn I can't believe how many people had someone respond to them with violence in childhood. I'm so sorry. I got hit a bunch too, and I avoided the worst of what was around my house. (*hug*)

 

Once you're out you can consider filing a civil suit with a probono attorney (depends on state laws). Also, next time he punches you, call the police and have him arrested. Then bring up previous abuse issues. In many states Child Abuse has a longer statute of limitations. If they retaliate and throw you out, depending on the state, they can be forced to pay for your necessities...

Just a thought if you ever feel like you've lost a bit too much. With that said, hang in there. Once you are out, get a job and stay out.

So many issues of abuse here... I had a buddy who was abused, he grew up and got real big, real strong. Put his father in his place after that. That old man never touched him again.

Sorry if this isn't what you are looking for... That's how I would deal with it. Partly because, if someone hits me, it's not a fight, it's a war. Wars are won over the long term. I don't forgive and I don't forget. No I am not anonymous either .

 

I'm sorry that this has happened to you. Remember that under the law now, since you're 20, they're not obligated to take care of you. At the same time, you don't have to stay there. Even if they say no. That's why you should do something like Ada above me suggested. Hitting someone is NEVER okay, even more so when it's your child. File suit against them and bring up any incidents of your father hitting you. That is not okay and it needs to be addressed.

 

Hey one of my best friends read that book and highly recommended. Hope everything keeps getting better!

 

Um, one of the seven DEADLY sins is WRATH. Meaning anger, and using anger to hurt. Does your dad even know about his own religion?? I'm so sorry that this happened to you . (*hug*)

 

Hi iloveheralways,

that's a typical thing other family members will often do in these situations: Deny, minimize, or even trivialize the pain you are feeling. That is not fair or just, nor is it their place to do so. You truly have my heartfelt empathy. As a survivor of child abuse, I know how you are feeling. The first time, you get hurt by the abuser. Then, the family hurts you again by denying or trivializing it, as I said above. It's not fair, it's not your fault if you're not 'over it' yet, and don't let their attitude get to you. Even if you do have to live with them for now, stay strong in the knowledge that one day you will be able to move out finally, and you won't ever be in this difficult situation of having to stay with them ever again, if you so choose.

Forgiveness is something that can be helpful, at a certain stage of recovery. But unlike religious folks tend to say, it's not forgiving that brings the healing, it's healing that brings the forgiveness - and when it begins to happen, it's not a forced thing, it's more like letting go of this burden of resentment, that you do for yourself, when you are ready to do that. But this is not something that should be rushed, or it won't be real.

Forgiveness is not even essential in order for you to heal from the abuse. That notion 'you must forgive' is a myth. I've read books on recovery, have attended workshops facilitated by experts etc, so I'm not just making this up. You will 'get over it', but in your own time. Healing is a process, it can take time but it can't be forced.

I also wanted to say, that painful as the memories are, and difficult as it can be to live with them - I understand this first hand - we must make an effort to reclaim our lives, and the joy of living that is our birthright, and not let the past ruin our lives. You will get there, and I think I am gradually making progress, too. We get through each day, we find ways to get through. But we can also find ways to experience joy, connection with others, and in time even some peace of mind. I want to let you know that all of these things have actually improved for me, over many years. Just want to say, healing can be challenging and slow, but it is real, and worth it. (*hug*)