So my family is a little crazy. There are roughly 6-7 gay guys in it (first cousins) but that being said it's insanely huge. Over the years my mom has been super accepting of these guys. I am closeted and it's kinda weird. When ever we talk about family she makes a point to point out there gay and whenever my dad says a joke about me or my brother being a girl home my mom buts in to say or a gay I don't care. It's kinda cool but sometimes I feel like she knows more about me than I do lol. Always saying things that make me feel like she know I am gay. This is were the over accepting part comes in. She has threatened to like be mad at me if I didn't come out before I was eighteen. Like wtf I am closeted and she is threating me this (well to my brother too) like what parent threatens their children to punish them if they don't come out to their parents lol. It's kinda awesome but it makes me feel really really bad for lying to her all the time when I could come out pretty easily.
That is very accepting, lol. I've never heard of threatening if you don't come out. So, what is holding you back? Is it your own difficulty accepting that you are gay? And there is nothing wrong with that. Maybe we can help you with acceptance.
Better than threatening to kick you out and describing the idea of you having sex with a man as "grotesque" and telling you she'd rather you become a drug addict or a criminal than be gay. You're so lucky
I wish so desperately that my mom was like that. It's a hell lot better than the "this is just a phase" speech
I have a very accepting family, and I came out to my mum (which is basically all my family that I speak too LOL) a few weeks ago and it went very well. I understand that you aren't sure of yourself, so you don't want to share it, but maybe your parents and family can help you through that. You have already started a healthy process by joining this site and posting about it.
I know that you probably feel under a lot of pressure to come out when you aren't ready to, but I'd recommend talking to your mom about it. Not necessarily have 'The Talk' but to tell her that you're trying to figure some stuff out and thank her for caring. My dad is very accepting of me being a lesbian and tries to encourage me as much as he can. But that encouragement doesn't exist in a void and a lot of people will try and make them less accepting. For example, the other day my dad mentioned to a few people that he was proud of me being a lesbian and that he was hoping to go with me to Pride next year because he had to drop me off this year. He said that people acted like he was letting me down and was being a horrible parent. He was so disturbed by it that he came up to me and asked if he was doing the right thing by encouraging and accepting me. I know that your parents may seem 'overly' accepting but they've probably dealt with this same thing and will continue to do so when you come out. Encourage them the same way they're encouraging you and let them know how much you love them for being that way, even if you can't come out quite yet. Good luck
When I didn't know about my sexuality, I just told my parents that I like girls and they helped me figure it out. I'm still not certain, even though my sister is pressuring me to admit I'm lesbian – hey, too young to know! Just let 'em know. I've heard stories of really crummy parents on here, and I'll have you know that you're incredibly fortunate. I think I would threaten my kids like that, too. XD
I feel bad posting that it's just like I don't want things to change. I finally got friends and I know my parents wouldn't let me hang out with guys in supervised if they knew I was gay. I don't even know who I am. I feel so very sorry for the all of you that have let's say less than model adult support. This post has been a source of guilt over the last couple of days. One of the reasons why I feel that they are over accepting is because I am here. It makes me feel like I am letting all of you down that don't have great parents. I feel like somehow dis honoring and not being grateful. In most regards I have a feeling I am.
Don't feel bad A post on the internet that meant no harm is certainly not something to feel guilty about. You're not ungrateful and you're not dishonoring anyone by being yourself and I'm sure no one meant their replies in that way. Change is a very scary thing. You have a great family and you don't want that to change. That's okay. You feel scared that you'll lose friends. That's okay. Just take your own time and do things at your own pace. That's definitely okay too.
If you decide to come out, you will be amazed at the amount of people that already know. So far I have told most of my friends, family, and coworkers and none of them have been surprised. Some of them thought that I was already out and were shocked that I wasn't yet. I have even told my grandmother that is in her 80s and even she already knew.
Ever since my mum found out I'm bi she's sort of been trying to push me out of the closet, telling me that everyone would accept me and no one would care an all that. The thing is, I feel safe in the closet, I'm afraid that things would change if I came out and people would treat me differently. I think I understand how you feel, change is scary.
This! Your mom's persistence is really helpful. The faster you come out, the faster you can get on with your life.
Do not feel bad for this. Coming out to your mother, regardless of her acceptance, will be a large step in your life. Don't come out until you're ready. Don't listen to the people who pressure you to come out. It's your choice, and I understand that, despite her support, it will be hard to get those words out, especially since things can and will change afterwards. Truth is, there are always some things we have that make us more fortunate than others. But we're fighting the same war. So, I wish you good luck. (*hug*)
