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Staying Friends after Coming Out

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Nekokoneko, Aug 23, 2014.

  1. Nekokoneko

    Regular Member

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    This might ramble some so I'm sorry in advance if it doesn't make sense.
    I've been in a relationship with a boy for almost eight years now. It's never been a particularly sexual relationship because I've always had a lot of anxiety surrounding those sorts of scenarios. For the last year it's been a long distance relationship (I moved to Japan and he's in the US) and it's been over this time that I've come to realize I'm pan. For my own sake I think I need to work on these feelings and see what I really want in life. If I were going to be with a boy, it would be this one. He's funny and smart and he's never had a problem with having an asexual relationship. He isn't ace but he's never complained about me not wanting to be intimate.
    I've returned to the US now for some time while I look for a job in Japan. I know that I need to work out my feelings for girls and to do that I have to break up with him. But he's been the most important part of my life for eight years now and we were friends for two years before we started dating even. I do love him dearly, but not in the way he loves me. Is it possible that I can go back to being just friends with him? Or is it better to just completely cut ties?
     
  2. Edra

    Regular Member

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    I would talk it out with him. I wouldn't just cut ties that seems foolish. I would just come out and say what you are thinking. It cant hurt to try that I would think.
     
  3. Nekokoneko

    Regular Member

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    I don't know how I would feel about seeing him with another girl. I don't think I would like it very much but it's clearly not fair to him.