Not being "GAY ENOUGH"

I know exactly what you mean! Yes, I have the same problem with one of my lesbian friends. She'll tell me I'm straight because I don't look gay. The big thing is because I don't have any experience with a women yet, therefore, I'm not really gay but straight or sometimes 'straight but curious'. It's so frustrating. I don't like stereotypes and don't want to change my look to fit one, and no one ever asks heterosexuals before they have sex for the first time if they are really straight, how do they know, they need to try it first!!! Are straight people more insightful than gay people and therefore they know for sure they are straight without experience? This is actually something I expected from straight people, not from other lesbians. I know she is teasing me, she likes to do that, but it still bothers me. I understand what you are talking about. Don't change how you look to fit a stereotypes, there's no way to look or act gay, you just are.

 

No, regardless of who's criticizing you, you do not have to "prove" that you're gay, and the only way I can think of that not being gay enough is if you're depressed (see what I did there? Gay? Cause it also means happy? Eh, nvm).
Everyone will have to face stereotypes based on who they are, but I get the feeling it's a little harder than usual for feminine lesbians, as there's an even stronger sense of what's "normal". All I can say is, tell them that being different from "normal" lesbians is no worse than being different from "normal" women.

 

What I'd do is tease them back and tell them that they're 'too gay.' My friends call each other and what we do gay all the time, and I've used that a few times. I'm not sure how teasing your friends are, but hey, that's a comeback you could use. Just point out any stereotypes they fulfill, like short hair, plaid shirts, or rainbow clothing. It should (hopefully) dissuade them from teasing you about it again.

 

I remember that that only person reacted that way to me and said oh you don't act gay so that is surprising to me. I was stunned at her stereotypical reaction so I just said oh well i hid it really well in sarcastic way.I totally understand your feelings. Even being disabled people don't think I am gay because of that and that is just crazy.

 

Being gay just means you like the same sex. Other gay people who try to pigeonhole others are being ridiculous and ironic.

 

Don't worry, I have the same problem! Every person I've ever come out to was either in shock because I apparently gave off no signs or claims that I have to be straight because I don't fit the "gay guy" stereotype. Just remember that you are the only one that you need to please and that their beliefs will change over time.

 

^THIS. My gods, this. The people who accept it without question, I want to hug and thank. And then I realize just how sad that reaction is. Can we please get over this 'gay enough' idea that we have as a society? Half the conflict I felt when going through the questioning/freaking out/denial phase was because of this ridiculous notion.

For me, the usual reaction is 'You are literally the LAST person I would expect this from.' Unless they've heard me talk football, thn suddenly it's believable. *facepalm*

In your case, I agree with the previous posters - point out that at least you HAVE a girlfriends. Shots fired, let's move on from the 'teasing,' yes?

 

They honestly sound like my straight friends , Oh your sure your gay you don't look gay your too pretty I didn't get that vibe from you that your a lesbian .
I hadn't gotten this from other lesbians but I'm sure it's coming .
Gay is only liking the same sex it's not how you dress .:tantrum:

 

Yer no homosexual, yer too normal!