Ok so I've been friends with this guy for a while, since 6th grade. I've been out to him and my closest friends since freshman year and they've all been cool with it thank god. But my question is as the thread says. The reason why I'm asking this is because we've been getting a lot closer recently. In our friend group we both consider each other ourselves as having a better relationship that with the others. Over the summer we would text a lot and hangout and I was just having a really good time with him. At that point I never really considered him more than a friend. But at a sleepover party during the summer everything just kinda hit me at once. We went swimming and I just found myself really attracted to him. And later that night we were spooning in a bed. Not while we were sleeping even we were both wide awake. When we actually went to sleep I woke up randomly in the middle of the night and found myself physically closer to him than I've been before. Previously we haven't been really touchy feely or anything so this was big. We were laying with our faces facing each other and my farce was in his hair. I had a terrible urge to go touch him, to kiss him, to do anything but I was too scared too. Some time after that party I just decided to let him know I have a crush on him. I felt like I had nothing to lose and I thought he would be open minded either way. And nothing happened. I told him and basically got no reaction. He said he was cool with it and that doesn't change anything but I felt he was implying he wasn't interested. I appreciated that he was so ok about it and I tried getting over him but ever since I moved to a private school I've been missing him. We still live in the same city but the fact that my other friends get to see him everyday and I'm left with just the weekend hurts me. Then at a more recent sleepover he was getting a little playful like playing with my ear and stroking my hair while watching a movie and laying with his legs open on the couch and letting me cuddle and touch him on the chest. He didn't mind me sleeping next to him either. So what I'm wondering is could he be bi or at least bi curious? I feel like those things that he does are things a straight guy wouldn't normally do especially to their gay friend who they know likes them. I've been trying to play it cool and not be flirty but maybe he's giving a green light or maybe it's just wishful thinking. Any advice?
I would advise you not to push it. You've already told him you like him, so there's nothing else you can do really. When he gets flirty, follow on it, but don't take it too far! Make it clear you are interested, but be sure not to make it seem you are pushing him into something - that might get him startled. Just carry on with this, and see how he acts. Simply put, "gather more data" and then you will see. At least, that's how I would do it. He's probably curious, since he knows flirting with you isn't just bromance, but needs some time to process his thoughts and accept it himself - give him time to do that.
Thanks user123456! i haven't really been on here since i've been "gethering data" but now i think i have something to share. So over labor day weekend i was really bored and i was just talking to my crush (Let's call him "Joe") over text since we were both out of town, and i just felt a strong connection to him even over text. The conversations flowed and it was like we were next to each other. At one point i sent him a pic that i found on tumblr that had a guy with his ass showing and leaning on a car. I sent it to him to show him how weird it was and maybe have a laugh about it. and i said "sad part is this isn't the weirdest pic iv'e seen haha" and joe said "send me the weirdest" :eek: now what straight person would want to see more gay themed pictures from my tumblr? so now i start thinking that there is a real possibility that he might be at least curious or something. Also as a side note we've been snapchatting almost everyday during school. And then last week i went to my Joe's house just to hangout and when i walk in, he's watching a gay movie, as in a movie from the gay lesbian section on netflix... and we watched it together. now this is a total red flag in my book as far as gay evidence. The rest of the day progressed pretty normally. he bought me starbucks, and we went to our school's football game. Afterwards i went back to joe's house and we just talked for a bit before i went home. As i was leaving, i just decided to give him a hug, this is something we haven't really done before and i guess i just want to push the envelope a little. he was very cool about it, it wasn't awkward, and it wasn't one of those "bro hugs" with the minimal contact and the pat on the back. this was a proper long hug, needless to say i was pretty happy after on the way home. With that event and all my other "evidence" i decided to ask him to my homecoming. I didn't even try to not make it sound like i was asking him out on a date, i literally said: "do you want to go to homecoming with me?" I was kinda scared about how he would react since it was kinda forward, but he was actually really excited! I was also really excited but then he found out he had a soccer tournament that weekend so he couldn't go :bang: but he was excited about it in the first place and that's at least something. so naturally i took my situation to one of my other friends to see what she thinks about joe. I told her all of my speculations and stories and she was in agreement with me that joe could be bi and that i should talk to him about it. but at the same time she is telling that she is talking to joe at the same time without me knowing... i guess to figure stuff out on my behalf and it wasn;t until everything happened that she decided to tell me anything. she basically asked who his best frond was and joe said it was me. and then she said that we were getting really close. now what he said next was really confusing to me "Ya sometimes it can be a little much. you know he asked me to his homecoming? i just hope it isnt like that" What?! what joe said was completely contrary to what i was thinking was going on and now im just really confused. What im thinking is that joe really is bi or something and just doesn't know it/ figuring himself out. because i know at least for me around 7th/8th grade is someone told me i was getting really close to this guy i would really freak out. Also the way my friend brought up the subject all abruptly and how thought i would never see it may have influenced how he answered. Either that or he really is straight and I'm just getting my hopes up for nothing. I was going to talk to him yesterday since we were hanging out, but it was with everyone else in our group and i couldn't get him alone and when we were alone the timing was never right. So what are your guy's thoughts. which waty does he swing and how should i approach him about it
I have a very similar situation and its possible that he is bi or at least very very curious. But I think you need to make sure you're at least 70-80% sure you'll get a good response whether it be that he is bi or that he accepts LGBT before you say anything. If you haven't already ask him opinions on LGBT issues and people to get a gauge of what his feelings are. I strongly advise what I mentioned earlier about being a certain amount sure because I once rushed into it and it did not end very well. Good luck and I hope we can both figure out who these guys are into
A person, ya i i've been out to him since freshman year, almost 3 years ago, and he took it great. He completely accepted it and we probably became closer because of it even. We also talk about LGBT issues quite often at least when they come up in conversation so i know he is completely accepting in that regard too. Also i already told him i liked him sometime over the summer and nothing really happened there either. He basically said that this he's cool with it and it doesn't change anything between us. We even talked the next like nothing happened. so joe 1: knows I'm gay and 2: knows i'm into him. and all the while he's doing all this stuff. That's why i'm so confused. I want to talk to him this week about it but idk how to approach him. any thoughts? Oh i also took a peek at your thread too! yeah our situations ARE pretty similar. Hopefully we'll both get happy endings.
Hmm I guess he might be unsure about his own feelings and may not have come to terms with it yet if he is gay/bi. Or he's just being protective...at this point its really up to you
