Issue with a friend who is half the world away

Okay this is quite long but please read

So I used to live in New Zealand and had a very small friend group and one of these friends J was interested in me though never actually told me, do when the earthquakes hit I was taken by my dad(who is English) up to England so I had to leave all my friends and my mum behind(parents are divorced+ mum isn't English so she doesn't have a visa) so after that I have been very depressed for the last few years. Anyway recently I got back in contact with J( about a year ago) and we started talking acting as sort of therapist for each other since she is depressed as well but around 2-3 months ago she said she wanted to be in a relationship with me and I still haven't told her I'm gay so my excuse at the time was "we are too far away and won't see each other again for years if ever" so she agreed with that and dropped it. But last month I got a message from her that went along the lines of 'no one will ever love me' and she tried to kill herself a few time but I think I talked her out of it, and now I've found out she was trying and got in a relationship with someone from her school though this morning I've found out that she broke up with him and now he is threatening to kill himself and tell everyone it was j's fault. This is destroying her and I don't know what to do.

Please help, thanks for reading

 

Thank you so much for replying, I really appreciate your help. Next time we are both up at the same time(damn time zones) I'll bring it up to her and try to talk to her, I just know she's really struggling at the moment and I don't know how she'll react. Again thank you for answering