I don't know what to do with my mom right now.

Short version:

My mom has been growing more intolerant and less understanding. I don't know what to do.

(Really) Long version:
[I'll bold the important stuff]

So. Everyone has problems. Some have less, others have more. I'm someone with four problems:

1. Getting mocked at school.
2. Making friends.
3. Feeling self conscious.
4. Being transgender.

And guess where it all collapses?

That's right, folks - if I felt comfortable in my body, my major problems will be eliminated or toned down.

That sounds a bit too good to be true, but honestly, when people are mocking me, I don't even care what they think of me - except their perception of my gender. And when I'm making friends, I'm constantly wondering if they'll still be my friend if or when I come out to them, and I'm, once again, concerned about their perception of my gender. And self-consciousness? Public perception of my gender.

I managed to help myself with the self-consciousness issue by wearing a coat, but my mother constantly nags me to take it off. She calls me crazy and stupid for wearing one, since it's hot out here, but if I don't wear one, I feel really transparent and vulnerable. I've tried explaining it to her, but she doesn't take it seriously or just tells me to learn.

???

When I tell her about the mocking, she blames it on my coat, when, in fact, no one gives a damn about it. They just ask me if I'm cold/hot, and when I answer, they leave. No laughter, no grinning - just an "oh" or a shrug and they continue on their merry way. When, in contrast, when they say hello and I say hello back, it's like I just told the most hilarious joke ever, and when I retaliate, they just laugh and mimic me.

Very charming.

She also seems keen on getting me friends, and when I tell her I can do without friends for now or that I hate a lot of the people at my school, she resorts to the petty "you need to learn how" or "that's what's wrong with you". She even said "there's something wrong with your mind" to my face - like, gee, mom, I appreciate it.

And when I need some alone time because I'm feeling dysphoric or randomly sad or whatever, I usually retreat to somewhere I can be alone (bedroom or outside) and just wear a coat or wrap a blanket or something. Because it makes me feel safe, you know? But she comes in and yells at me for wearing the coat or wrapping myself in the blanket and tells me that, surprise, there's something wrong with my mind.

Wow, I'm sorry I have to be super happy 100% of the time.

I don't know what to do. Her constant belittling is really frustrating me, and, as stupid and childish as this sounds, it's hurting my feelings. Trying to explain things to her result in the same thing that has been happening for the past few months - me crying, her calling me stupid or crazy. It's just so frustrating, and I don't know want to do.

Any advice?

 

It's okay. I hope get things get better. (*hug*)

 

My mom's at it again. I know she cares, but when she tells me I'm mentally ill when I just don't want to talk, it's tiring.

I am not mentally ill. I am upset with my body. When I look down, I see things that were never supposed to be there. And the best thing she can say is, "You're too young. Don't think too much."

Does anyone have any advice? Should I just let it be? Should I confront her about something? I don't know...

Edit: as a side note, I don't think there is anything wrong with being "mentally ill; she just spits it out like it's a curse, like she will hate me if I am, and that's what frustrates me. Even if I were mentally ill, why the fuck would you talk to me like that? I don't know.

Edit: ignore my edits